Today was the first time I mowed my lawn since I bought my house in January. In places, the grass was about 1 foot high. Even if you know next to nothing about lawns (like, for example, me) you probably know that 1 foot high grass is like quick sand to a lawn mower. To make matters worse I had to use subpar equipment. Yes, thats right: I ambitiously and naively set out to tear this jungle down with an electric mower.
Neglecting my lawn caused mowing it to take almost 2 hours .... when it should have only taken about 30 minutes. It was a struggle of epic proportions. Perhaps if I had a real lawn mower.... and perhaps if I had not brilliantly decided to do this labor intensive chore at midday things would have gone smoother. Half way through, sweat was making my eyes sting... so I ended up removing my shirt and doing the whole thing in my sports bra. I dont know what the neighbors thought of that, but it really didnt matter to me. This grass wanted a battle and I was going to give it one.
Well, removing my shirt was great for cooling off. BUT, it was not so great for warding off projectiles. What projectiles you ask? Hidden in the jungle were FOUR balls. The first was blue and I did not see it. When I ran over it, It actually was torn to shreds. No danger there. Blue rubber mulch is probably great for the yard... Then there were 2 tennis balls, both of which I saw and succesfully moved out of harm's way. HOWEVER.... the GREAT BIG HUGE SOFTBALL lurking in the underbrush did not register with me. At all. Like an idiot, I ran over it.
I snapped to attention when a very loud sound - like a gun going off - boomed out of the mower. Before I even realized what had happened, a softball hammered out of my little electric mower, slammed against my back fence, and shot back, directly at me. I just about peed myself. Thank goodness noone was watching.
Well, not much later, shirt back on, I was happily mowing the front lawn. Why happily? Because for some reason the front lawn grows way slower than the back, so it actually went rather smoothly. That is, until the lawn mower began emitting a roasted chesnut type of smell. At first I ignored the smell. The main reason I ignored it is because it smelled so good. (Roasted chestnuts are one of my weaknesses on fall and winter nights). Plus, I was convicned that the gray powder billowing out of the top of the mower was dust. Really, I was. However, when the mower went from a loud whine to a pathetic, tired whine, my brain actually began to work. Rather alarmed, I had to admit that my lawn mower was most likely on fire.
I thought about throwing water on it but then I looked down at the power cord wrapped 3 times around me and the nearby tree. It was too hot to be electrocuted. I decided against using water. So, what did I do? I unplugged it, wheeled it onto the cement and left it there for about 2 hours. Smoke probably came out of it for about 10 minutes. Not good. Not good.
I might have to get a real lawn mower.
Oh and since I am already making fun of myself, I might as well continue....
...so I had to rake the grass clippings into piles to remove so that they would not choke the new grass. So I raked them all in one direction towards the East fence. I made several large piles (enough to fill 3 lawn bags). AFTERWARDS, as I was carrying the grass
back across the lawn to throw over the West fence (into the dog run), I realized I might have planned better.
In other news, I also repaired my bay window with the help of my roommate, painted some stuff, and baked honey wheat bread.
I am becoming quite the handy woman. A clutzy, ditzy, silly handy woman... but handy all the same. Better watch out boys. Your wives are going to be calling on me pretty soon!
