Pabulum

Meh - hee - ko

2006-12-18T22:36:00.002-05:00

Good times. I highly recommend cabo san lucas in December.

Happy Christmas. Your present is this post.

xoxooxox

PICS!

updates..

2006-05-07T13:10:00.000-04:00

1. The back fence looks like a five year old snuck into a koolaid plant, grabbed a huge hose of red koolaid and sprayed at random. It aint no confederate flag, but it sure looks dumb.

2. I had my first motorcycle spill. I hesitate to say crash, as I was barely going 15mph. My knee has a contusion that looks like a deranged smiley face. My road rash looks like a heart. Very odd. The motorcycle has seen better days.

3. Due to said motorcycle accident, I went to the doctor. Due to having Aflac Accident insurance I recieved 120.00 for going to the doctor's. My regular insurance copay is just 20.00. Moral of the story? Get Aflac people. I just made 100.00.

4. My pregnant coworker said that she woke up and had sugar ants crawling all over her side of the bed. Well, if you want the truth, they were crawling all over her bosom. What does this have to do with anything? Nothing really. But it sure is funny.

First Track Day Pics

2006-04-16T13:59:00.000-04:00

Go here!

I am sure I will write about this when I have some time. It was incredible. :)

Back in the day...

2006-04-14T23:16:00.002-04:00

This was the first film I ever art directed. Jim Isler wrote, directed and edited this film. (2001 Winner, Jeanine Basinger - presented by Warner Brothers - Ross Prize).

It is quality stuff.

I had no idea...

2006-04-12T23:05:00.000-04:00

That this is what Mike Carnes has been up to. WOW

The back fence

2006-04-12T22:17:00.000-04:00

My neighbor left me a very nice note telling me that they are painting their fence and will need to come into my yard to paint the other side of it. They are doing this to protect it from the elements.

This seemed perfectly acceptable to me at first. But then I got to thinking...

What if they decide to paint it pink with white polka dots? What if they decide to cover it with a gigantic potrait of President Bush?! OR.... WHAT IF.... they decide to do both????

I might want to give them a call.

There are some very sick people in the world. With my luck, they'll be the ones in my back yard painting.

Hallett Track Day!

2006-04-11T22:31:00.000-04:00

This Saturday is my first track day!

I called Hallett race track and they said that this saturday a record number of women have signed up to ride. I am so pumped to be a part of that! History in the making!!!

As Mistie and I joked nervously about what is in store for us, it suddenly hit me, once again, why i love motorcycles and TSR. They form bonds and friendships based on fun, positive experiences. Like any sport, your skill depends heavily on you, but also on your willingness to learn from others.

For example, tonight.... Nothing like having a couple of guys hold your bike leaned over while you try to stick your knee out and not fall over. Must've just been a 45 degree angle. Hilarious how hard it was. And to think that someday I will drag knee without any issue. Wow. I have a long road ahead of me.

Handywoman

2006-04-09T21:11:00.000-04:00

Today was the first time I mowed my lawn since I bought my house in January. In places, the grass was about 1 foot high. Even if you know next to nothing about lawns (like, for example, me) you probably know that 1 foot high grass is like quick sand to a lawn mower. To make matters worse I had to use subpar equipment. Yes, thats right: I ambitiously and naively set out to tear this jungle down with an electric mower.

Neglecting my lawn caused mowing it to take almost 2 hours .... when it should have only taken about 30 minutes. It was a struggle of epic proportions. Perhaps if I had a real lawn mower.... and perhaps if I had not brilliantly decided to do this labor intensive chore at midday things would have gone smoother. Half way through, sweat was making my eyes sting... so I ended up removing my shirt and doing the whole thing in my sports bra. I dont know what the neighbors thought of that, but it really didnt matter to me. This grass wanted a battle and I was going to give it one.

Well, removing my shirt was great for cooling off. BUT, it was not so great for warding off projectiles. What projectiles you ask? Hidden in the jungle were FOUR balls. The first was blue and I did not see it. When I ran over it, It actually was torn to shreds. No danger there. Blue rubber mulch is probably great for the yard... Then there were 2 tennis balls, both of which I saw and succesfully moved out of harm's way. HOWEVER.... the GREAT BIG HUGE SOFTBALL lurking in the underbrush did not register with me. At all. Like an idiot, I ran over it.

I snapped to attention when a very loud sound - like a gun going off - boomed out of the mower. Before I even realized what had happened, a softball hammered out of my little electric mower, slammed against my back fence, and shot back, directly at me. I just about peed myself. Thank goodness noone was watching.

Well, not much later, shirt back on, I was happily mowing the front lawn. Why happily? Because for some reason the front lawn grows way slower than the back, so it actually went rather smoothly. That is, until the lawn mower began emitting a roasted chesnut type of smell. At first I ignored the smell. The main reason I ignored it is because it smelled so good. (Roasted chestnuts are one of my weaknesses on fall and winter nights). Plus, I was convicned that the gray powder billowing out of the top of the mower was dust. Really, I was. However, when the mower went from a loud whine to a pathetic, tired whine, my brain actually began to work. Rather alarmed, I had to admit that my lawn mower was most likely on fire.

I thought about throwing water on it but then I looked down at the power cord wrapped 3 times around me and the nearby tree. It was too hot to be electrocuted. I decided against using water. So, what did I do? I unplugged it, wheeled it onto the cement and left it there for about 2 hours. Smoke probably came out of it for about 10 minutes. Not good. Not good.

I might have to get a real lawn mower.

Oh and since I am already making fun of myself, I might as well continue....

...so I had to rake the grass clippings into piles to remove so that they would not choke the new grass. So I raked them all in one direction towards the East fence. I made several large piles (enough to fill 3 lawn bags). AFTERWARDS, as I was carrying the grass back across the lawn to throw over the West fence (into the dog run), I realized I might have planned better.

In other news, I also repaired my bay window with the help of my roommate, painted some stuff, and baked honey wheat bread.

I am becoming quite the handy woman. A clutzy, ditzy, silly handy woman... but handy all the same. Better watch out boys. Your wives are going to be calling on me pretty soon!

Dear Marie...

2006-04-06T21:49:00.000-04:00

I know you dont like Fred. I know that, whenever he tried to hang onto you, you responded by desperately tried to hide him, by pushing him away. You tried to keep him from your friends, knowing full well that you cant make someone like Fred invisible. You knew your friends would notice him. You KNEW and you just couldnt handle it. Marie, I dont know if you know this, but Fred is sensitive. Your actions made him very, very angry.

You made him angry enough to leave you.

Even if he did make you angry and redfaced for a while, his departure had to have hurt. Whenever someone with as big of a personality like Fred leaves, it always hurts. So in a way I feel for you.

That is, until, Fred decided to fly across the ocean, right over the much more desireable east coast right into the heart of Tulsa, Oklahoma and directly onto MY turf. Without even asking, he just moved in.

Marie, I really wish you hadnt pissed him off quite the way that you did. An angry guest is not an easy burden to bear. Worse yet, he actually had the audacity to invite his family into my world. WITHOUT ASKING. I didnt think I had enough room for them, but he didnt care. They just squeezed in. Sarah, Becky, Beth and Bella, his 4 redheaded stepdaughters, were accompanied by his white headed mother, Eunice.

I might have been able to bear it if it werent for Eunice. But, really... she is quite a moody beast. You can never really tell when she is going to explode. For days you can just feel the tension bulding and you know an eruption is emminent.

Marie, I tried to pamper them. I tried to get them to relax. We went to a spa where I gave them mud masks and I allowed them to relax in the steam room. None of it worked.

I officially give up. I have come to the conclusion that Fred and his family are just plain mean. They have been here for a week and a half and I just want them gone. I am not sure if you drove him to be like this,... but even if you did, I wouldnt wish him back in your life.

I think they are on their way out. My only fear that this entire experience is going to scar me.

Confused?)

Prune

2006-04-06T20:58:00.000-04:00

I am one tired chick. I was up until 3 or 4 in the morning talking with a friend. I woke up at 7 (after hitting snooze for an hour). I have not made sense all day. I found myself laughing, alone in my cubicle, on at least 10 occasions. What was I laughing at? Hmm, good question. I am pretty sure my coworkers were asking themselves the same thing.

The tornados that swirled around hardly even phased me. EVEN THOUGH I am the biggest scardy cat ever when it comes to that stuff. When the town alarms went off, the only reaction I could muster was "shouldnt those be louder?"

After waiting out the tornado warnings, I went home. By the time I got there - I have such a long commute (0.6 miles) - I couldnt see straight. So I steeped myself in the bath. I think I was in there for about an hour. For the first 15 minutes I let the jets massage me. But then I turned them off because they were keeping me from falling asleep. Once I turned them off I really am not too sure what happened. All I know is I have transformed into a prune. A very very tired prune.

So anyway, I wanted to put a picture of a prune in this entry. So I googled prunes. Wow. I found this picture and this story along with it!!! What the heck?! People are so so so weird.

Reasons to skip...

2006-04-05T00:59:00.000-04:00

If you have ever wanted to skip out on something that is a drag - like class - you might benefit from reading my friend Ku's blog. His number 1 reason to skip is totally right on.

Go here to read it

This bit of a poem goes well with his theme:

"Summer's ardent rustling
Is like a festival outside my window.
For a long time I've foreseen this
Brilliant day, deserted house."

(The Sentence
by Anna Akhmatova)

Not very green thumb

2006-04-02T22:48:00.000-04:00

After 5 hours in my garden I may have possibly made it look worse. But dang it, it tastes much much better.

It all started with the issue of the dying bushes in my back planter. There were 6 of them. I knew they needed to go. So, today, I uprooted them. While wearing a straw hat... Flip flops... And with my hair in pig tails. I had a few beers to refresh me while I was doing this uprooting.

As is wont to happen when you drink in the sun, I became very sentimental. And I stubbed my toe 3 times. My own pain reminded me of the pain these poor dying bushes were going through. So, I decided that I didnt want to kill these bushes. After all, what did they ever do to me? Sure they were on death's doorstep... but they deserved a second chance.

So I transplanted them. All 6 - basically dead - bushes. But, I had NO PLAN. So a few of the dead bushes were scattered in the front of my house. A few were scattered around the back. Now there is really no happy ending here... They do not add beauty to my property. They probably devalue it. I mean, who wants to look at a yellowing lopsided charlie brown bush?

Now why did I run around like a crazy girl moving dead plants? I did it for the Herbs. Thats right. I decided I wanted my back stone planter to be full of herbs instead of dead bushes. My vision of plenty was dashed quickly as I realized that most herbs are not beautiful. In fact, my planter now looks like there is an odd collection of weeds in it - the dead bushes looked much better honestly.

It was all worth it though. The herbs are so good. I already baked some fresh rosemary thyme bread... it was so yummy I ate the whole loaf in a day. So what is the moral? I am not sure.. since I really dont have a very green thumb. But I can tell you this - Wear sunscreen and gloves if you want to avoid pain later on.

Here is a list of a few of my herbs/edible plants:

Chocolate Mint
Spearmint
Lime Mint
Lavender
French Lavender
Purple Basil
Fennel
Thyme
Mother of Thyme
Rosemary
Garlic Chives
Tomatillos
Orange peppers
Sweet plant (tastes just like sugar but is non caloric)
Cauliflower

and then.. the best

BRUSSEL SPROUTS

mmmmmmm

I know, you can admit it. You are jealous :)

Silly

2006-04-01T21:27:00.000-05:00

Continuing the Trend

2006-03-30T19:43:00.000-05:00

Inspired by the blog entry of a friend, I have decided to write about a rediculous bet made by someone I know.

I think it beats their story a million-fold.

Here it is:

Someone bet me when MY birthday was.

...

I am not kidding.

And, they were totally, completely, 100% wrong.

I attempted to convince them that they were, in fact, wrong. I told them when MY birthday REALLY was but they would not budge.

Finally, I said "Fine, I will bet you a 100 dollars."

...

They said "Fine."

I won the bet.

FYI - They made me show them my passport to prove myself.

A few years have gone by and this entire situation still amazes me. I wish I could say this happened when I was, say,... 5. Nope. It was when I was 23. And they weren't 5 either. They were in their twenties. And definitely old enough to know better.

My Mac

2006-03-24T18:53:00.000-05:00

Ok I have a quick update - every thing is great. The house is great (I know, I know, you want pictures ... I will get there eventually...). Life is great. However, I have a little story that I know some of you will throroughly enjoy -

My macintosh died the other day. It was horrible. For a minute. But everything brightened when, while on hold with Mac support, they played French Rap. I have not heard that since I lived in, well, France. In fact, in Tulsa Oklahoma I am probably the farthest I could be from hearing French Rap.

Yet another testament to why I love Macintosh. They bring foreign culture to mid america :)

Other reasons why I love them:

They got me to stop crying and start laughing. Alot.
All repairs were 100% covered
All data was recovered
(well, this is thanks to a friend, but they told me how to do it)
and.... the biggest deal of all....
...
THEY DID IT ALL IN 3 BUSINESS DAYS! (I Called in on Wednesday around 1pm, recieved prepaid padded box the next morning, I mailed it at 3:30 (to TEXAS) and by Friday the repairs were finished. I will recieve my computer with a brand new hard drive on Monday morning!!!

Fish Lovers & my house

2006-01-21T22:07:00.000-05:00

Check out how some people fish

And, in other news, the house purchase has been moved to Tuesday. At which time I will transform into Mad Martha. I will have floral arrangements and candles galore.

However...

If the floral arrangements dont pan out and I do not show up to work on Wednesday, it is because I have settled comfortably into my jacusi tub and refuse to get out. I will probably have drunken 5 bottles of wine and burned up about 10 candles.

Today I went to check out some furniture at a friend's house and although I didnt pick too much out to get, I did go into her garage and snag some tools. I now have a flathead screwdriver, 200 nails, a mallet type thing and some other stuff I am not too sure what to do with (like a 3 inch long hook...) I am sure I will figure it out though.

She actually had a few car engines and engine holders.. but, honestly, although it was tempting to take them.. I do not think that i will be rebuilding car engines any time soon.

And I promise, as soon as the deal goes through, you will be inundated with pictures of the house. :) scratch that... with pictures of MY HOUSE! yayayyayyayayya

New Jacket

2006-01-15T17:56:00.000-05:00

Amanda finished the jacket and it looks great! It fits well and is super comfortable. She added a lot of nice little features... i cant wait til the pants are done and i can begin to tear it up on the track. I am pretty sure that it makes me faster... Check her site out.

best ever

2006-01-08T18:19:00.000-05:00

Why Luxembourg

2006-01-07T10:58:00.000-05:00

Lots of people have asked me where luxembourg is. They seem to be amazed it even exists, after all it is teensy tiny. I have often been asked why I lived there, in such a hole in the wall place. Similar things are being asked of me about Oklahoma. Interestingly, it was for many of the same reasons.. good times, good people etc.

Of course, it helps that Luxembourg is one of the most beautiful places in the world. Here she is:

This picture shows the city (up on the cliff) and the grund (or valley) with all the bars where we used to hang out. And, yes, it is incredibly difficult to get from the grund back up to the city when drunk. They even installed an elevator in the cliff to keep drunks from wandering up steep cobblestone roads. But thats no fun for drunk people!

Good times.

My friends rock!

2006-01-03T00:48:00.000-05:00

Sasha:
what do you think?
i mean its prolly all in my head
ugh stupid boys

Stephy:
i dunno
stupid boys is right!
lol
lets throw rocks at them

Sasha:
omfg
thats amazing
BRILLIANT!

Please note: no rocks will be thrown. i would be throwing for a very long time to get each and every stupid boy out there.

Beaver Holes

2006-01-01T21:35:00.000-05:00

Nothing like a grinning beaver to bring in the new year.

At first this sweet drawing of this smiling beaver seems really great... but... upon closer inspection, there seems to be something very odd about this scene...

Just take a look at the dam that he is so proud of having built.

the dam isnt even near water. and there is a giant hole in it. Like a giant hole.

if we could zoom in on his eyes, i think they would be very bloodshot.

the crack apparently hasnt worn off.

What is going on with google's designers? i wonder if V is having an influence on them?

Happy New Year.

Here is hoping that if you too do something totally useless and unproductive this year, that you are as happy about it as this beaver.

Home Decor

2005-12-27T00:18:00.001-05:00

Today I got prematurely excited about the house. The contract isnt even final, and i am already looking into affordable design solutions.

After spending eight long hours browsing department stores and studying design books in Barnes and Noble, i only managed to come up with one solid decision:

At 2.99/yd, my curtains will most definitely be made of burlap.

And you think I am joking.

I whole love Tulsa...

2005-12-24T19:40:00.000-05:00

because of the little things:
Johnson Park – 6002 S. Riverside Drive

A Tulsa tradition since 1941, thousands of Tulsans unite to drop off their Christmas trees for an enormous bon fire! People can start bringing their trees on January 3rd to Johnson Park.

By January 6th at 6:30 p.m., the pile of trees is stacked high in the sky and the burning glow can be seen for several miles. Tulsa Firefighters and Huffy The Clown will be on site to promote the Tulsa Burn Camp. Admission is free! .

The best part of this entire thing is that "Huffy The Clown will be on site to promote the Tulsa Burn Camp." What the heck is the Tulsa Burn Camp?

Christmas

2005-12-24T16:27:00.000-05:00

This flash video made me laugh out loud a few times.

White Trash Christmas

Anyway,...

This Christmas is the first time that I have not stressed out about buying a million presents for people. Instead, I am focusing on getting my life in order. When I decided that I wanted to stay in Tulsa, certain things had to fall into place for it to happen. I set a date of finding a job by christmas (which I began to think was impossible), and buying a house by January.

There is hope for me after all. I have accomplished the following since November 19:

- Got a salaried job with benefits.

I work at Fox Collision on Peoria as the Marketing Coordinator. This is a very exciting position that allows me to not only explore/utilize my design skills, but also my advertising and marketing skills to give FOX the right image. As per usual, I dont plan on blogging much about my job out of respect for the company.

- Find a house on brookside

I promised to get a house as soon as I found a job. When I accepted the position at Fox, I began looking 2 days later with the goal of moving into a house in January. Well, this past week I found a house on brookside that I am really excited about.

I did not think that I would be able to find one in this area within my price range because it is such a popular neighborhood. I was wrong. I found an amazing house that I made an offer on last week. This time next week I am sure the contract will be finalized. I should be moving in January. This is a very positive move for me because this house (in theory) will increase in value a great deal since this area is so desireable.

A really great benefit of looking for a house is that I finally found out my credit score. I could not believe it. Wow. I had no idea. Now i like good news.

- Quit Smoking

Accomplishing this was the icing on the cake. Its funny how one bad day can bring back old habits that haunt you for months til you kick them to the curb, yet again. I started smoking in October and it took me until this past Tuesday to shake it off, cold turkey. And the funny thing is, the bad day that started it all had to do with cell phone issues and I am still having them.

Things are really moving up for me. I cant wait until the new year.

Happy Holidays.

The culture at Panera

2005-12-15T10:52:00.000-05:00

For a few weeks I have been going to Panera to do some freelance work. At first, in the spirit of fair exchange, I used to get a sandwich, a drink and a snack so that I could use their free wi-fi guiltlessly. At nine dollars a pop, that didnt last long. Now I just get some Earl Gray tea and call it a day.

Anyway, I was somewhat embarassed at the thought that I was a Panera regular... and by regular I mean one who goes in there for hours at a time, many days a week.

I thought I was alone. How wrong I was.

Almost every day I see the same people, dressed in their fashionable yuppy clothes from Utica Square, having yuppy conversastions and playing on their yuppy computers.

(BTW - just being around them has made me a better dresser - I cant go to Panera looking like crap, can I?)

Just last week a man spoke for an hour about his very tough decision whether or not to buy a large house (5 bedroom and 10 acres) OR a medium house (3 bedroom and 2 acres) and a vacaction home in California. It is fascinating. And funny. Why? Because he wasnt just talking to friends. He was in a business meeting. A very off topic meeting, but a meeting all the same. In Panera.

Does Panera bread know that at least 25 people use the Cherry Street branch as their office? Seriously. These people have board meetings over paninis.

The Winter Ride

2005-12-13T23:03:00.000-05:00

When the air chills every leaf
When the flight of snow is furious
My footsteps fall light and land heavy.

This icy trail I tread
cannot be forged, bent or molded.
The miles are long.

Winter's fiercest storms
scream through the fields,
turning them sallow
while I stumble.

I pull my cloak tighter with aching hands.
I push againts the white wind.
I stop counting my steps.

And then:

The earth no longer cracks around me.
It no longer crumbles beneath me.
My footing is sturdy and strong:
I have found a road.

On this slab of unending concrete,
I will outrun her claws of ice
with engines built to roar louder
than her storms.
I will find speed and a fury
that winter cannot claim.

Train Wreck

2005-12-12T12:55:00.000-05:00

Watching me try to dye my hair a nice shade of auburn is like watching a train wreck.

1. go to hair salon.

2. leave mad: you just wasted 45 dollars on a lamo hairdo. the "auburn" highlights you requested are "yellow."

3. buy your own darn color. BUT dont get the nice brown red you picked out, instead trust the cashier to sell you the "bright crimson" color for 22 dollars. (after all, she must know best)

4. worry when your friend finishes dying your hair and rinsing it, only to say "oh no! it is really red!"

5. look at your hair in horror. (your friends noting how you look particularly bozo-ish).

6. buy more color at the store after being convinced that you can cover the bozo-do (10 dollars).

7. look at your hair in horror.

8. curse desire to have a nice shade of auburn. you now look like you were puked on by a goth.

In a twisted way, there is something redeeming about all of this:

Spending 77 dollars to look like crap? its, well,.... priceless.

Pictures: Bike Hike

2005-12-09T17:27:00.000-05:00

I took my biking hiking way back in September. Call it crazy if you must, I call it fun... I was out in search of some fun roads that I didnt know about. I took a bunch of small roads that eventually led to this scenic spot. It was so pretty that this spring I might go back and paint it.

Oh, this was also the day that I dropped my cellphone on the way home and, after exhausting myself with the "hike," I had to retrace my steps for 50 miles. Turns out that I dropped the cellphone less than a mile away from where I started looking. It figures. As I looked at it on the side of the road, battery ejected, flipped open and all chewed up, I thought "this thing will never work." Wrong. After dropping it going 70mph that sucker was as good as the day I got it.

Sweet.

MotoGP

2005-12-08T23:11:00.000-05:00

The world of racing is filled with talented men in leathers. Off of the racetrack they are "talented" too....

Snow

2005-12-08T00:50:00.000-05:00

Oklahoma had her first snow of the year today. It finished up at just over 1 inch. It succeeded in causing an 8 car pileup and 1 randomly totalled suburban (this one I witnessed). These are just the accidents that I know of. There are most likely more.

Although I could make a joke at this juncture, for some reason I just want to hug each and every Oklahomian in sight.

And take my bike for a joy ride.

Why is it so tempting to pull that little beast out of the workshop and ride it around the block?

- I want to know what it feels like to ride at night on a lamplit street, look behind me at the pure white snow and see nothing but my bike's treads slicing through it.

- I want to feel the crunch of the snow under my tires.

- I want to make the rear tire dance enough to make a snow angel.

- I want the cup of hot chocolate afterwards and I want to drink it until my cheeks become rosy.

- I want the memories.

For now I will have to wait because Cliff has managed to stuff every bike he owns in the workshop and there is no way mine is gonna get out any time soon.

Six bikes total. Nice...

So, as the saying goes, there is always next time.

If it snows again this year.

Dust to Glory

2005-12-07T11:14:00.000-05:00

I just watched this documentary for the first time yesterday. It covers the Baha 1000; a race through the mexican wilderness. Everything from dirt bikes to old beatles fly through dirt, silt, sand and rock until they cross the finish line or crash out.

This race is about pushing yourself to the limits. As one rider says, "After almost dying 40 times in one day, typical problems don't seem that daunting. You go to a job interview and, sure, its scary. But what is the worst thing they can do? Say no?"

That is what I love about riding: it puts everything in perspective. It reminds you that living life is what is important - squeezing every ounce of joy out of it - and not paying to much heed to all the little fears and hassles that come with it. Because you can get through the little things, there is no reason to worry about them. Just deal with them with confidence and skill.

This movie is very well made with incredible cinematography.

I cannot tell you enough....

Watch it.

Where is the romance?

2005-12-06T22:02:00.000-05:00

I enjoy reading. I really do. Some of my favorite books include Lord of the Rings, L'ecume du jour, Waiting to Exhale etc. I do not like romance novels. They creep me out. Besides the fact that they are written very, very poorly.

This is one of my pet peeves: a seemingly normal novel that ambushes the reader with steamy romance scenes. I hate them because these scenes always reveal themselves at the most inopportune times - while reading in public, on a park bench, next to some nice old lady who happens to look over as you turn the page and something about someones "member" pops up. And, of course, she runs away in horror, but not before giving you the evil eye.

Its just not right.

Well, aparently there is an award for bad sex scenes in Fiction. It is simply horrifying that these people call themselves "writers."

(This contains adult content and is probably offensive)

The longlisted passages for the Bad Sex in Fiction award

I am posting this up here because it shows that I am not the only one rolling my eyes at these poor excuses for literature; there is an entire award devoted to mocking it.

Now, a fun spin on the whole thing is when someone comes along and points out how rediculous people are with roleplaying. It is just wrong people. All wrong. Whatever happened to plain old romance? Why is everything so dirty now adays?

Silliest dirty talk ever

Lets get back to candle light dinners people! I will even accept a glass of cabernet in exchange for some good conversations. But I would prefer not to have my love life ever come close to resembling anything that I linked to from this entry.

An old poem

2005-12-05T14:43:00.000-05:00

Every once in a while, I look back at the poetry I have written. I used to write frequently. Usually when I look back it makes me laugh because my vision of the world seems so silly in retrospect. There is one poem that I keep coming back to, a poem that I actually like. It doesn't say very much, but the simplicity of it makes me smile.

Birds

Some small birds
Peer in shells
expectantly.
Their big eyes
scan the ocean but
they poke in small shells
for food.

Some big birds
Lay shadows
on sunlight's face.
Their small eyes
scan sand dunes but
they strike the ocean
for food.

Now that I am wondering what lays in store for me next, this poem gives me comfort. It reminds me that it is ok to look around and admire things that other people are doing, that other people have access to. It is ok to look at the horizon.

But, most importantly, it reminds me that there are things that each of us are good at, things that are appropriate for us. These things are usually mundane and directly in front of us, so we choose to ignore them, looking elsewhere. It is time to build on that which is directly in front of us. Time to build on who we are, instead of trying to change to become something else.

Success is making the most of yourself. It is doing what you were meant to do. The answer is simple.

Long Pants

2005-12-04T17:08:00.000-05:00

This is what happens when you dont go out very much...

Its Friday Night. My friends and I have made our way to a club. It is completely empty. I am drunk. My friends are drunk. Noone really cares that the club is empty. We are our own party tornado. Fun fun fun. We shout over loud music and giggle. It is 10pm. We started drinking at 5pm. Everyone is happy.

One sole stranger comes waltzing into the club. He is wearing shiny black vinyl pants and a cowboy hat. After walking up to all our guy friends with his bedroom eyes and his barnyard swagger, he moved on to the girls. He announces to Steph in a deep voice... "I am hetero."

She comes running my way. We laugh at the thought of using your sexual preference as a pick up line.

OOOOhhhhh, your HETERO! ok, well in that case, sure.. lets have sex. Thats my ONE requirement. Congratulations. You've met it.

Silly silly boys.

A little while later, we are so drunk that Steph and I have a conversation that consists entirely of quotes from the cartoon characters - Homestar runner and strongbad.

This nonsensical conversation lasts a very, very long time. Probably a half an hour. We laugh and laugh. My face hurts from the stretching. By the end of it we have said "Long Pants" at least 200 times. Even our drunk friends think we are crazy.

How two words have provided us with weeks of giggling still amazes me.

Long pants. Always long pants.

The rest of the evening cannot be blogged about without violating the Standard Confidentiality Agreement.

I will say this. I am on day 2 of hangover from hell. And I somehow ended up with 7 dollars worth of ones in my purse.

good times. always good times.

Its been one week...

2005-12-01T20:43:00.000-05:00

That oh-so-famous line from Barenaked Ladies pretty much sums up my mood lately - a little hyper, definitely upbeat but somehow everything is all quite a bit off kilter.

I am healing up from the accident. I am at the stage where it no longer hurts 100% of the time, so every once in a while i make a quick move, forgetting i am hurt, and then it kills. But I am optimistic that in about three weeks all should be 99% better. The doctor said my upper vertebrae got pushed in from the impact, but that they should readjust naturally. i am hopin!

Even though its the first of december, its really only been about a week or two where the temp dropped below 50. Its finally jacket/coat weather. I love that wearing a coat here is still pretty optional.

I cant wait to get back on the bike. Not being able to ride has been killing me. I have new speedmaster gloves that I was supposed to wear on the track day - They are going to be amazing compared to my little ones that are all tore up from the kart track.

Tomorrow is Friday. I am looking forward to a night on the town. Rock on Commecticut ;)

my mother's suggestion

2005-11-20T23:58:00.000-05:00

The car wreck made my mother worry. She said it was a dark cloud of negativity. She said the best thing for me to do in such a situation is change my name.

Thats right. Change my name.

I am thinking "Amadeus Cornelius" or "Rasputen Smith" or "Dicky Dickenson" or even "Billy Frankenstein"

My bruise feels better already. Who'da thunk it.

Accident

2005-11-19T22:59:00.000-05:00

Last night my friend and I were in a car wreck and her car was totaled. I have a large bruise on my chest from either the seatbelt or the airbag. The pain increases with every hour, despite the number of pills I pop. I will be going to the doctor tomorrow. I hate doctors, but I guess it cannot be avoided.

What astounds me is how long it took me to actually have an emotional reaction. For hours I stayed as strong as possible, helping my friend deal with everything. I watched helplessly as pain and panic overwhelmed her.

Out of nowhere, the emotions hit me like a brick wall. Suddenly, it was my turn to be panicked, angry and hurt. I am completely drained emotionally and physically.

I fully admit that poor judgement got us in the situation. Nonetheless. A car wreck is scary and painful. I am just glad we are both ok.

Its official

2005-11-15T22:52:00.000-05:00

I have made two big decisions recently.

The first one is HUGE. I am staying in Tulsa. I love it here. There are many reasons. It really feels like home and is probably the first place I can really say that about, besides Europe. And even while there, I had emotional drama going on, clouding how awesome the place was.

What was best about Europe and what is similar to Tulsa, is that I really feel as though I had a great community that I had FUN with. Life should be fun. If its any less, you arent doing something right. I have had more fun in Tulsa in the past few months than I have had since I was a teenager. Somewhere along the way, I forgot that life was supposed to be fun and silly. I know the landscape of Tulsa is not where it is at (although arkansas IS all its cracked up to be) ... so it makes it even more apparent how connected I feel down here.

The people here are very giving. They look out for each other in surprising ways. I have had friends like this - Marina, Marianne, etc but somehow things are different here. TSR is like a brotherhood. When I had drama with my bike before our big ride to Arkansas - all of which was the fault of my own dumb neglect - Michael took my bike, fixed the air pressure and was going to BUY my oil to fill it (my psi was down to 20 and the bike GUZZLED 1L of oil !!!!). I literally had to cut in front of him with my credit card in order to pay for my own stupid mistake! He didnt owe me anything, but this is the perfect example of how good people treat each other out here.

Another example is when I was thinking about moving here.. Cliff and Collette opened their hearts and home to me until I get my shit together. I have the luck of staying with good friends and really taking the time to find the job that I want. Again, they did not owe me anything and they are treating me like their own daughter.

So thats that!

My next decision - I AM GOING TO DO MY FIRST TRACK DAY. I am scared to death. But Cliff is going to help me set my bike up and trailer it out there with me. Michael is going to let me borrow his back protector. Megan is going to let me borrow her 2 piece leathers. Again. Everyone is so giving. Its friggin unreal. I love it. Tulsa gets a big "Hell Yeah"

zzzzz

2005-11-10T23:16:00.000-05:00

Its been 41 hours since i last slept.

i fully intend to sleep like a rock would sleep if rocks slept.

i better wake up rested because i need to take the bike in, the rear right tire on my car might as well be nonexistant, it is resting on the rim. must have been a nail.

i wonder what it would be like to sleep like a nail if nails slept.

or a tire. how would they sleep?

prolly not as good as was to ettte those potato chips tonight. etten them was fambabulous

z

zz

zzzzz

oops...

2005-11-09T00:18:00.000-05:00

I crapped my pants.

Today i did my first stoppie. I was emergency braking.

I need my diapers changed.

The old woman who made me do it prolly needs hers changed too.

For real.

Homestar Runner

2005-11-07T22:14:00.000-05:00

I forgot how funny this is.

Homestar Runner

The one that ends with Husky headed magazine is worthy of a look. That strongbad really knows how hot he is.

Mario

2005-11-06T22:15:00.000-05:00

Ohhh today was something special. I stayed over at my friends house, played Mario all day in our PJ's and ate fast food. It was so highschool. And so fantastic. we even drew the shades so the sunlight wouldnt get in our way.

I dont remember the last time i vegged out so good.

Cats

2005-11-03T23:46:00.000-05:00

I love cats. i do. but right now, as we speak, at 11:12 pm, i am hearing strange sounds coming from the foot of my bed. real strange. i actually had to sit up and look to figure out what is going on.

turns out cliff and collette's cats are growling at each other, one inside my room, one outside. The one outside wants in,.. but the other is being a bully. he says that it just aint happening.

what can i say. they both want to cuddle up in my bed.

it would not be a problem if they didnt sound like gremlins when the growl.

cute. but gremlins none the less. :)

Bike's NEW home

2005-11-02T23:29:00.000-05:00

Much cosier, draft free, surrounded by good company. all in all, a great switch. and i dont have to chain the rear tire any more!! yay :)

Text Update

2005-11-02T22:42:00.000-05:00

So its been a long while since i have updated my blog. I have not had access to internet really, but that has all changed. So, in theory, I will be posting up here rather frequently again.

Its kinda difficult to summarize things but i will give a few little notes:

1. The winter in Tulsa rocks. It was in the high 70s today and sunny. I could get used to this!
2. I have been travelling for work a bit - was just in NY where it was in the 40s. I didnt miss that.
3. I only have 2 weeks left of work
4. I am looking to buy a new bike. maybe a kawi 650r. maybe a mille. :)
5. I crashed the 125 cc bike full throttle, big ass wheelie, into a wall and then into a tree. Broke the clutch lever off. and got some sweet bruises. (see post below for sangria's tale of my crashes)
6. Made a halloween pumpkin that was cindarella's carriage. but i liked this pumpkin better:

7. Got my hair did. it now has some more red in it.
8. The leathers are coming along.
9. Looks like i will get some freelance web design work soon.
10. Listened to oakies talk about how more people should "bust their kids butts." and then say they would bust anyone's butt who didnt agree.
11. Went bowling for the first time in years and actually did ok. i am not sure why. i might have even been better than our Wesleyan games.
12. I am knitting again. This time i am making an afghan. Oh, and an arm cover for Dustyn. it will be beauuutiful.
13. Going to a bike show in Texas. yippee. hours of sitting on bikes and dreaming. sounds like heaven to me.

Updates

2005-11-02T22:41:00.000-05:00

Here are pics i loaded up.

Sangria's tale of my crash...

2005-11-02T21:55:00.000-05:00

"While all you sissies were nursing your hang overs - Sasha was at the Trials making things interesting.

She started out riding the 4 wheeler with Ralph while Dylan, Cliff and I were on dirt bikes. By the way - that shit out there is not for the feint hearted. Way over my head.

We start out and I am ok on the really bumpy flat rock - but riding the big loose rocks wore me out. So Sasha decided to give it a try and ride the 125 back to the big bumpy flat rocks. (Like riding behind Ralph was not enough excitement)

It's not too bad to get around on the big rock if you look for the little "ripple ramps". It's still bumpy but you can make it up pretty easy. Many of them are the width of a bike tire so you have to hit them just right.

I showed Sasha the ripple ramp but she missed it. The part she did hit was about a 6 inch high step - with the throttle wide open. It bounced her up and over in a huge totally in the air - Big Ass Wheelie - feet completely off the pegs !!!! I thought the bike was going to loop over on top of her - But no way. Sasha had it out of control all the way and managed to do a perfect landing, throttle still wide open (she aint no sissy - it's all or nothing) and slams into a huge rock wall - head on !!!!!

Her butt went up in the air a good 6 inches (I just knew she was taking a quick flying lesson) then landed back on the bike and gently tipped over - off the throttle

The trials guys gave her a 10 She sure showed them a thing or two.

Of course - that was not enough excitement for Sasha. She decided to try some dirt riding in the woods. Let me tell you - that tree will think twice before standing in her way again.

The 125 is hiding from her in Cliff's shop right now. Her clutch lever is not feeling so good...broke off.... and the rear brake needs a bit of adjusting.

Sasha is fine - just a few bruises. Can't wait to do it all again."

rock on!!

dallas texas, 2 piece leathers

2005-09-23T21:27:00.000-04:00

i just got back from dallas, texas. we went there for work. the entire time, traffic was insane because of the hurricane. (as was my return flight to tulsa). it was 4 hours late. people were flooding the supermarkets in search of food and water. hotels were booked all the way into oklahoma city. (a four hour drive before there was a single vacancy!) it is very sad to see the panic, but it is good to know that people have responded to evacuation requests.

today they gave me the day off since we have been working 13 hour days. it was great. i woke up around 9, read some more of "twist of the wrist" - until i could not take it any more and just had to go for a ride. that book tends to do that to me, even more than "proficient motorcycling." i think it has something to do with how technical it is. it makes me want to try things out.

i ended up at Amanda's shop - Speed Sport Leathers - and finally agreed to let her make me a custom 2 piece leather race suit! it seemed the best way to go because nothing fit quite right in the stores. i wrote a list of all of the safety features i wanted and she seemed to be perfectly fine with all of them. she told me that, after practicing on me, she is going to charge "real prices" - i am very grateful for getting such a good deal on this suit, even if it is a bit more than i want to spend. once i knew that she would make a safe suit, i also thought it would be great to support small business AND the promotion of making riding suits for women! if using me as a guinea pig will get her to make suits for women - and give her a template to work from (even if it is a big butt template) - then i will feel as though i helped the rider's cause.

as it turns out that, Amanda is looking for a logo, and i told her that i would play around with making her one. i really like her shop and want her succeed. i think i may have come up with something pretty good. if she likes any of my concepts, i will post up the pics.

Amanda is very inspirational to me. She started doing track days at the age of 39 (3 years ago) and has - in that time - moved up to do national race circuits with vintage racers and even done some CMRA races. She even got to race on Daytona.

Beef Jerky!

2005-09-18T18:36:00.000-04:00

Collette taught me how to make beef jerky. That's right. Beef Jerky. mmmmmmm. Beef Jerky = good!

How come it took me so long!

more more more

2005-09-18T18:13:00.000-04:00

Today I had the pleasure of trying out a new mini track, JRP Speedway.

http://www.jrpspeedway.com/kart_track.html

I didnt think I was going to be able to participate because I could not get my hands on any leathers. But, Alan was kind enoug to loan me his. I got one run in at the end of the day on Alan and Becky's bike, and, of course, one was enough for me to crash! I borrowed Alan's leathers which were a size 42. I must have looked like the michelin man. It was histerical. Now I really have to get a move on buying my leathers. Even in the short time I was on it, I fell in love with this track. It has a bunch of turns that corkscrew etc, I think at least 7, and a huge sloped embankment (a wide sweeper) that I didnt get to try yet.

Mini tracks are my kind of heroin.

Yesterday, Collette and I went on a ride which was really nice. We went to Spavinov and around the area. I met a bicycle rider at a stop sign who wanted to know when I was going to get a R1. Collette said I should have asked him to race. Ha.

It was nice to go a bit slower, so that I could concentrate on my lines in the twisties. I have to admit, the adrenaline was missed, but the chill pace was a welcome change. I liked not dying. And the girl talk was much appreciated.

I am still having trouble with downshifting; I have to take the time to practice and pay attention to RPMs so that I stop skidding around on off ramps. Oh, and I hit my first piece of gravel (in a turn) during this ride. It was all over the road, but you could not see it until you were mid turn - it was right at the apex. There was no avoiding it. As my rear wheel slid around in the corner, I was very glad that we were going a reasonable pace.

My silver jacket finally tore apart at the zipper on highway 44 today coming back from the mini track. It flew open and all i could do was pray that my pockets were zipped up so that my camera and phone didn't fly out of it. I had a bottle of soda in my jacket that i had to sit on so that it didnt fly out and hit collette in the face! I would have felt pretty bad if it had. Hmm, maybe i should get a tank bag.

I went jogging the other day and my ankle seemed to only complain a little, so there is a chance i might get back into that again. Although it was 95 today, it has generally been cooler which increases the chances of me getting out there. As long as work doesnt continue to keep me past dark.

Work is keeping me busy. We just finished one big focus group in chicago that I was sent to for 3 days. I had to get everything organized and make sure we had what we needed. The stress was high because it was a very expensive product showing with very important clients. I learned a lot and met a great number of people. This week we are travelling to Texas.

moto crashes etc.

2005-09-08T11:18:00.000-04:00

My ankle has prevented me from running - i had one valiant attempt recently that just left me cursing, so i am leaving that alone for a while. on the upside, i have been doing a lot of riding.

i rode in the rain - the triumphant photos of me are in my photo album. i still have lots of photos to upload. maybe in the next week. they are pretty hilarious. like me crashing. let me explain...

a couple of weeks ago i rode some little bikes (50cc and 90cc) on a Kart track and learned to get my knee down on the pavement. it was a fantastic experience. but it aint easy leaning over on a bike until your kneee hits the ground, even if the bike is only 3 feet tall. i ate pavement 7 times. when a friend (who does not ride) asked me how exactly you fall off these little bikes, i told them easy - you haul ass around turns at a speed too great for 1. your skill or 2. the turn. Like i said, i did it 7 times - the bruises the next day were fascinating. i got handlebarred in the boob and inner thigh. enough said. the bruise that hurt the most was the strange bruising on my wrist. it looked like someone had stomped on my wrist with cleats. The bikes are made for abuse, so apart from chains falling off and bent footpegs, they were okay. my jacket, on the other hand, was not okay. the zipper cries on its way up. this is because i did a belly slide in one particularly "fun" crash. the poor jacket has seen better days.

anyway. i got my knee down! that's what matters :)

next fun motorcycle event: i took a 400+ mile trip into arkansas on the motorcycle with 6 people. i really got some speed up, so i am now going to be buying some full leathers. seeing the damage on my silver jacket made me realize that it wont hold up to falling on the road like i thought it would. twisties twisties twisties. its fantastic. although, scarier than i thought.

i finally get why riding a motorcycle is so appealing to me. it forces me to push myself very hard and the only person responsible for my ability is me. and, unlike anything else i have done, it is a life and death matter - when riding high speeds around sharp bends. i like learning to trust myself like this. its a totally new feeling.

As for food and work - i have been working like 13 hour days 6 days a week. business trips have been adding up - 2 to chicago, 1 to texas, 1 to NY this month alone. i am learning quite a bit. we had a techno food clinic at the end of september that was awesome. we had wiley dufresne, nils noren, elizabeth faulkner and some other great chefs all doing molecular gastronomy. meeting these chefs just reminded me why i love food in the first place. they are so talented.

blah blah. lots going on, but i have to go find me a pair of leathers. later!

death and commercial mixers

2005-08-12T19:02:00.000-04:00

don't ever - under any circumstances - put your hand into a commercial mixer - while it is running - in order to see if your dough has the correct amount of elasticity.

ever.

even if it is on low.

even if it never mixes food as well as you think it should.

that S.O.B. has a whole lot of torque.

and it will try its hardest to mix your hand right into the dough.

and it will pull you half way around the mixing bowl trying.

and, when it is all over with, and you are all bandaged up, good luck making a fist so that you can hit that darn machine.

cuz you wont be able to.

and, please, don't ask why i know this.

VROOOOOOOM

2005-08-08T18:59:00.000-04:00

I own a motorcycle!!! yayayay... details to come - i have to go for a ride first tho.... :) To quench your curiosity:

Just go here

Scroll down quite a ways. there are 3 pics... all with a yellow kawi. vroooom :)

5k Results

2005-08-08T18:51:00.000-04:00

Overall Place: 58 out of 200 women
If I were a man: 175th out of 260 men... ha ha
Time: 28:42
Pace: 5:45/km
In my age group: 7th place out of 24 women

My Sources

P.S. There was a 13 year old that ran in 22:50, WOW

My first 5k

2005-08-06T10:38:00.000-04:00

After much hemming and hawing, characteristic of my style, i decided to run a 5k race last night. I decided at 6:15. The race started at 7:00. sillly sasha... I was already in trouble! I threw on my sneakers and dashed out the door.

I zipped along the riverway, where the race was to be, looking for the beginning of the race... "where is it? where is it? where is it?" running thru my head. Suddenly, the cars stopped. Just stopped. I was actually in traffic. It was 6:40. the road i had chosen was actually blocked off due to, you guessed it, the upcoming race :) "stupid stupid stupid" i told myself a number of times. why drive to the race on the road it will be on?????

By 6:45 I made it up to the cop who was redirecting us otherways. I rolled down my window and asked him where the event parking was. He looked at me, looked at my plates and looked like he was going to vomit. And then waved me by. I was pissed. Where was that southern geniality everyone speaks of?

By 6:50 I was so irritated I was almost crying. I am never gonna make it!!! Stupid indecisive Sasha! And then I saw the people gathering at the start line. I tore into the parking "lawn" and ran over to registration with a blank check and my car keys (which, when I thought about it, I could have left most of them in my car - but no, i was desitned to run with about five pounds of keys in my hand. breathlessly, i asked her, "is it too late??" She said I had about a minute.... the start point was like 1/4 mile away. and then she proceeded to check my spelling on my name, where i was from and all that garbage. i was going crazy.

the lady took my registration, gave me a XXL tshirt and said good luck. I looked at her and looked at the tshirt. "I cant run with this, can i maybe leave it here with you?" (does she think i am superhuman, i thought???)

"nope. i wont be here." she replied. sigh. i was about to dash off without it when a loudspeaker kicked in. 8 minutes until the start of the 5k. EIGHT MINUTES!!! That was like a million years from now. Too nervous to go back to my car, i found some unsuspecting lady at a booth and begged her to hold my shirt. she did.

k, so then i ran over to the start area with my pins and numbers. i thought the numbers had to go on the back, and here i was, with no way to do that. i snagged some lady on her way to the start line. "If you help me put mine on, i will help you put yours on!" i said. she smiled vaguely. we chit chatted about the race and then she began to pin her numbers on her front. ooo, i said, ok i get it. i am such a newbie.

i proceeded to pin my numbers on too. i said goodbye to her and told her i was going to the back of the group. she said she was too. oh, ok ... (she looked a lot fitter than me so i was surprised)

we stretched a bit, looked at the thunder clouds, and within like a minute, the race started.

bump bump bump. ok, so it was a little crowded, even tho we were on a road (the 2 lane road i wanted to drive on earlier) lol. we chit chatted for the first 1 k, until i realized she was breathing very hard and i was not breathing hard enough. so when she made some comment about how our time for the 1k (6 min something) could have been faster, i said, "i am game to move faster" she responded with, "Oh, i am going as fast as i can, but go ahead if you want" so i did.

i began to gradually increase my speed and passed lots and lots of people. there were all ages and shapes at this race, and having started at the back meant that i had a lot of ground to cover before i found people who were mediocre like me. :)

there were 2 water pits before we were half done, which i thought was great. but i grabbed water and could not drink. it ended up all over my face. hilarious i thought. as i looked ahead i noticed people had stopped to walk and drink. ahah. i remember di talking about walking with water during the marathon. silly me. i didnt feel like walking tho, so i just tossed the cup and kept going.

As we reached the halfway point, the thunder was rolling in the distance and there was a mighty breeze. people were there to cheeer us on saying things like "coolest weather all week! you can do it!!!" i was beaming. then i saw some of those motivational graffiti things - i dont jog on this section of the river, so they were new to me...

and one of them said "punctuality" ... which, in the context of a race, is just hilarious. i laughed outloud when i saw it.

i continued to increase speed gradually. i had no idea how i was doing and wanted to make up for my slower first 1k.

i passed 8 year olds during the third k... i thought to myself, i really could have gotten in a better starting position lol. Then it started to rain lightly. it felt great. Suddenly, as we rounded a bend, i started to hear drums and music. we must be near the end! i thought...great! emotions welled up in me, and i tried hard to concentrate harder. what is it about running in a race that makes you all emotional? its neat.

and then i saw the start line we had left from. so i said, ok,. looks like about 1/4 to a 1/2 mile away. time to give a kick! so i did. as we swerved towards the start line, i thought, this is a good strong finish. yay. and then .... and then... the line swerved to the right. away from the start line. hmmm. i thought. when does this race end??? we were going down hill directly towards the river. and then we went left under a bridge, so i could not see the end at all. i thought, ohmigosh i have no kick left. wtf!!!!

as we passed thru the bridge (about a 1/8 of a mile later), there was a quick uphill to the left. sigh. and then i looked at the top of the hill, and there was it was - the finish line. my legs had been in a 3/4 sprint for quite some time. but i stretched it out even more for a last, big kick. i was a little dissapointed tho because noone was near me to "race against." but i finished strong, so i was happy. despite the never f@$@#ing ending race :D

so there i was panting, beet red and at the end, with no spectators, and i didnt even care! i was just so happy to have done it. and thats when i realized that i am starting to get a hang of this "doing things for me" thing that everyone has been talking about so much. and that it actually is rewarding and amazing and great all at once. i get shuffled thru a line to give my numbers so they can post the results, and then i see lots of organic bananas. i mean LOTS. cases and cases. wow. free bananas. ok, i say, i am pretty hungry!! i walk over to get a banana, beet red. i start peeling one, thinking about how good it looks. and then i stop. dead in my tracks. i have NO idea what my time was!!!

oh man that sucks, i thought. so i walk back towards where we filed thru, and ask some lady what her time was. 28minutes and blah blah, she said... but there was a clock at the finish line. wow,. i said, i didnt even see it. to quell my curiosity i walked back to the other side and looked. there it was. a huge!!! digital clock like 3 feet from where i ran by. like it must have been 4 feet long and 2 feet tall. hilarious.. i totally missed it all. i then walked back and got free gatorade. lovely. i was sweaty, i was drinking liquid sweat (thats what it reminds me of - but tasty liquid sweat) and i had just raced!!! i then got a brilliant idea... and ran over to my car and grabbed my camera. i haranged some poor girl and made her take pictures of me. so ... soon... you will see me after my first race!!!! yayaayayyay

dirt bikes, design and jogging

2005-08-05T13:13:00.000-04:00

This Sunday I am going to tool around on some dirt bikes with some TSR folk at Hallett Race Track.

wait a minute ... the above sentence is missing something. I know... its missing these: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and a few of these: yayayyayayy... oh and some of this: vrooom vrooooooom. That's much better :)

I am really really looking forward to meeting some good people and getting to practice/play on the bikes. I also might go check out a 250 ninja while there. So many bikes, so little money. So far everyone I have met or talked to thru TSR has seemed very nice. Full of helpful hints and well-wishes. Now lets just hope that its not 100 degrees on sunday.

I had a really nice run last night - perhaps it was the diet coke full of vitamins and minerals that gave me the extra boost. or not. my ankle is still irritated from the twisting, but nothing i cant handle. i might have to start icing it after my runs tho. or is it heat it needs? i dont know. i actually went pretty slow for most of the run (trying not to over do it since i havent been running for a while) but then kicked it up a notch for the last half mile. It felt really great to stretch my legs out :) looks like i will be doing my first road race sometime soon. Why the heck not??? :D Any advice Di?

The design work is sent off to the printers. With some luck, the print job will look like the design I came up with. We are keeping are fingers crossed that the chef from Aquavit will be attending!

TGIF!!

Design and TSR

2005-08-04T08:23:00.000-04:00

Yesterday was good for 2 reasons. First, I got a design project back at work! I have not had any good design projects since Wesleyan, so this just made my day. Its pretty cool - a design for a TechoFood type clinic (we will be trying to make drinks that bubble only in your mouth, savory cotton candy etc) I spent most of the evening playing with possibilities in Photoshop. The design will eventually go on a tshirt that some darn famous chefs will wear, so i want it to look really good. The only down side to getting design work is that I dont paint or work on my book.

Second - I joined Tulsa Sport Bike Riders, a very cool forum for, you guessed it, sport bike riders. Already I have a dozen enthusiastic responses to my questions about what the best bike for me is... so it has been quite helpful.

I can't help but wonder if I met some of the people at Biker Boyz Weekend last month!

Today I will be checking out a suzuki bandit 600. My fear is that it will be too heavy for me.

New look....

2005-08-03T00:07:00.000-04:00

Yes, thats right, my blog looks different. And my god people, did you see what time it is? (!!!) Its WAY past my bedtime.

My run...

2005-08-01T22:18:00.000-04:00

Today I had an amazing run. But I find it much more educational to tell you about my terrible, bad, no good, horrible run on Sunday. SO YOU DONT DO WHAT SASHA DID.

On Sunday I had an awful run. The word "negotiating" says it all. First, I went entirely too early in the evening. I was impatient to get it done, so I left the house at 6:30 pm (usually I go around 7:30 - as the sun is beginning its descent and its cooler). Having not been very hungry all day (eating mostly fruit and fudge bars) I was not well fueled. Mistake number one. As I walked outside, I felt the blanket of heat envelop me and thought to myself "WOW, its still really hot out." Not turning around and waiting an hour was my second mistake.

As I took off, I realized that I wore the wrong sneakers - and I could really feel the weakness in my left ankle from my bball accident - I could tell that that would be a problem. (yes, that would be mistake number 3 - anyone with half a brain would realize that three strikes, and you are out... but I continued on).

The sprinklers that I usually pass through were out of my range and when this realization hit me I was devestatated (might I mention I wasnt even 1 mile into the run). Devastated. This is when I knew I was in deep trouble. Usually the sprinklers are just fun rewards for going out for a run. This time I was hoping they would sprinkle magic fairy dust on me to make the run be over with.

As I sludged through the heat I kept envisioning myself as a marshmellow, melting in a pile of sludgy hot chocolate. I know. Silly. But its how I felt. And it sure didnt help my attitude.

Even the breeze felt like a "heat wave" over my face.

I finally made it to the first bridge, finding solace in the distractions it provided - people fishing, the pretty light on the water, a wee bit of shade, etc. But, yet my chest was tight.

After I crossed the bridge the negotiating was downright obnoxious. "I'll stop when I pass that cafe up there... wait no, thats silly... i'll stop when I get to the next bridge...that must be 3 miles... that would be ok.... i'll stop when there are no more people anywhere around me, so noone will see me give up... i'll stop NOW... NO NO NO..... " and so on. looking back it was hilarious. At the time it was hell.

Every once in a while, my eyes flickered to the inspirational words on the path, and even these didnt help much. I tried to focus on them - meditate and use them for leaping off into deep thoughts. But. I couldnt focus.

My chest was tight and I was having trouble breathing.

I got to the next bridge and literally dragged my sorry butt over it . I still had 3/4 of a mile to go, but after that bridge I called it quits - given the heat and the mental strain I deserved a good cool down. And it was good I stopped too, because as soon as I did, my body totally rebelled. Not like heart attack city or anything. But, I suddenly got kinda woozy and sleepy and had trouble keeping my eyes open. My eyes kept rolling as I tried to force them open. And the blanket I was moving through only got thicker. I found myself kinda swaying side to side. I looked around and there was noone in sight. I thought, wow, dont pass out now sasha! Slowly, I recovered and, ten minutes later, as if I had amnesia, I walked past my gym I was like, heck, sure, why not??? !!!

So, I walked to our gym and did pushups and situps. I almost died when I found out our gym does not have a water fountain.

P.S. I found out LATER that there was a Ozone warning AND it was 98 degrees out. This is what they say about going out in that temperature:

90 - 105°F: Sunstroke, muscle cramps, and/or heat exhaustion possible with prolonged exposure and/or physical activity.

i.e. DONT DO WHAT SASHA DID.

PPS I had an awesome run tonight. I did everything right. I went late, wore the right shoes, etc etc. so dont worry, there is hope for me yet. I didnt even really negotiate at all. i mostly was distracted by thinking. having something to think about is key when running alone.

Come on, Sasha, lets be positive!

2005-07-29T19:08:00.000-04:00

List of the Top 10 Reasons why Living in Tulsa is good:

1. It gives me the time to get to know myself.
2. It reminds me that happiness has to come from within, not without.
3. It makes me appreciate my friends and family.
4. The motorcycle season is long.
5. I get to eat really good Mexican and Southern food
6. I get to read a lot of good books.
7. I get to jog, rollerblade and walk along a river (up one side, cross, down the other, cross) in a loop that is the perfect length for me and that begins 50 feet from my door.
8. I can paint to my heart's content.
9. I can write to my heart's content.
10. I find myself daydreaming again - it must be the proximity of cows.

List of the Top 10 Things in Tulsa that are good:

1. My appartment.
2. My free gym memberships.
3. The motivational graffiti along the riverway that keeps me going when I jog.
4. My rental furniture - the nicest furniture I ever had (except maybe the coffee table tom built). I feel like a queen in my queen size bed.
5. My new King Size down comforter; it keeps me and the bears covered even when I toss and turn during a M&M nightmare.
6. The huge number of motorcycle stores that are actually close to me and to each other.
7. The Rose Garden... hundreds and hundreds of roses that smell awesome.
8. The way it is warm at night.
9. How, even when its 110 degrees outside, there is a breeze.
10. The secret path I found leading to a mini penninsula and the perfect place to sit and think.

Think-tank, Iron Chef and Cannibal M&Ms

2005-07-29T18:54:00.000-04:00

So this has been a huge week at work. We had presentations for McD's and KFC, so the lab was buzzing like a hornets nest with anticipation. We also had visitors from our branch in Bejing.

On Monday we were told to be ready to perform in an Iron Chef, from 4-6 pm. In this Iron Chef we each had to come up with as many desserts as possible using a pizza dough. It was a very difficult challege and hilarity ensued.

On Tuesday, we had an all day Ideation for olive garden - we essentially were a think-tank for the day.

At the ideation, we had those balance balls, leggos, balloons, crayons and other stimuli scattered throughout the room. I felt like I had A.D.D because I could not stop playing and figeting with the toys. And that was the point, so I did not try to stop myself. During presentations, a toy or a balloon would come catapulting my way or someone would tie my action figure up in a twizler rope. Oh yes ... I failed to mention that there was an extraordinary amount of candy at this ideation.

I ate so many M&Ms that I had a nightmare about them that night. I dreampt that they were made of ground up humans. When I asked the manufacturers why, I was told that it was because humans make the M&Ms tatse like chocolate. I said, chocolate does too! To which I was told chocolate was too expensive. (!!!)

Apart from the unfortunate side effect of the cannibal m&ms, I considered this toy-filled meeting the best meeting ever.

Apart from that, I have no exciting news in regards to a motorcycle, however my painting is coming along and may be ready to photograph in a week or two.

Jogging on the river is great and that is what I am going to be doing with myself in a few short minutes.

Working Out

2005-07-22T23:02:00.000-04:00

Today was an excellent day at the gym. It has been great getting back into doing the weights and the cardio. I find myself relieving tons of stress just pushing metal around. Like stress from situations like these:

I went bike shopping last night and found it very irritating that guys take that "I'll take care of you baby" attitude when a girl goes in to do some motorcycle shopping. Its insulting. One guy said "Hey, you dont need a bike. You can take a ride with me any time."

I glanced at him briefly and said "Thanks, but I am going to be getting my own bike"

He then said "Oh, well, baby, if you want to learn the right way, you can learn on mine! How abouts you take my number down?"

Sigh. Just cuz I want to buy a bike and you happen to have a bike does not mean that we are soul mates or that I even want your number.

Food...

2005-07-20T17:56:00.000-04:00

Well, I have to be honest and admit that this blog is no longer soley dedicated to food. There is a reason for this: I cannot talk about the food I am making at work; it is confidential. I now work in a Product Development kitchen, where everything is very hush hush. I love it, but that means I cannot blog much about any of it. Also, since I live so far away from all my friends, I think I should make this a bit more general so that you can know what I am up to in all facets of my life, not just cooking.

I will say this: I get to eat out a lot. This is because whenever we begin a project for a certain company, we need to immerse ourselves in that company's food. Like tonight. We ordered every single dessert the restaurant had since we will be developing a dessert item for them. It was incredible. yum!

now where is my Danielle Steele novel....

Biker Boyz

2005-07-18T18:23:00.000-04:00

Well, I suppose God must have been giving me an early birthday present, because this weekend - my first weekend in Tulsa - was truly incredible.

Saturday, after lolligolling around the appartment for a while, I headed over to Biker Boyz weekend. Check out this link to see pictures. I was feeling kinda down cuz of not knowing anyone and not having anything to do. I remembered that the bike event was happening, so I shrugged off my meloncholie and got ready to look at some hot bikes.

Shit. I had no idea what I was in for. When they made the movie Biker Boyz, this is the kind of thing they based it on. The bikes were hot, the people were awesome. Suffice it to say I got there at noon and got home at 4:30 in the morning!

First, I was distracted by the bikes. Then, by the stunt shows. They were raw. They were up close and personal. The shows were so good because Tulsa is a small city. You get to talk to the stunt guys - not only could i never do that in new england, but i could hardly ever SEE the stunts. Here, guys were pulling their stunts 4 feet away from me at times.

Then, there were the amazing smoked bbq turkey legs. unfortunately i did not get a picture of that. they are amazing,... very medeaval looking.

At 7 we went on a huge ride around tulsa with hundreds of bikes. that was incredible. i went 145 miles per hour today (as a passenger). I had to hit the guy when we were done. But I have to admit, it was rockin and the rush was incredible.

Unfortunately, there was a huge wreck during the ride - two hyabusas went down. a woman pulled out into them when they were speeding down the road (they were trying to catch up with the group and so were going 130 mph). one hit the front fender, the other hit the back as she spun back out. one guy jumped off his bike before impact. he sustained serious road rash and a sprained ankle. the other guy held on and hit the car. he went into a pole and then bounced back into the car. he died at 3 am in the hospital. they could not keep his blood pressure up.

on friday we will be riding in the funeral.

After the ride, we watched street tricks. Burnouts, wheelies, stoppies and thinngs i had never seen before. it was hard to get pictures since it was dark out, but i tried.

then, we went over to the midnight drag races. that was rockin too! i laughed and laughed as 4x4's tried to drag. and then a beetle. there were amazing cars too though. i saw one car lift 45 degrees or more as he tore out of the start line. one girl was dragging on her 600 suzuki. all three times she went, she did it in 11 seconds or so. she was fast, but had a slow bike. she won one of her races when she managed to pull a 10 second time. her mph floated around 170. shit.

the races went until about 4:00 a.m and then i went home.

and, to make this all even sweeter, it looks like i will be getting a bike soon. yes! I met some people that have some good connections and deals because they own shops. i might be getting a really good deal. i just have to be patient. sigh.

A first for Sasha

2005-07-17T21:08:00.000-04:00

Someone please help me. I just started my first Danielle Steel novel. And I almost like it.

The Journey into Tulsa

2005-07-15T19:03:00.000-04:00

The reason Tulsa cannot possibly be real is because of her location. Tulsa is surrouned by an endless expanse of grass, lightly peppered with the occasional cow, horse and farmer (teeth optional). A pretzel of a highway keeps Tulsa loosely anchored to northeastern Oklahoma, but the erratic lane shifts of locals suggest that the highway's grip on the city is swaying. We just might lose her in the next few years.

When travelling into Tulsa, you will note numerous billboards, bumperstickers and paint jobs that extole the virtues of God and Hummers. If these do not convince you to practice Christianity or sex, the sheer number of churches and exotic clubs might bully you into one or the other.

There are only 4 tall buildings in Tulsa. Spiderman has to take a taxi to crime scenes.

As you settle in, you will come to see that the people in Tulsa are just a little bit different. Ever see "King of the Hill?"

After work, my coworkers ride a rickety bus a whole 75 feet to their car. Anyone from Not Tulsa would assume that, because it is hot enought to melt chalk in Tulsa, the sole purpose of the bus is to beat the heat. This was my assumption and, since I thought this was silly, I walked the 75 feet to my car. This was at 11 a.m. As I took my first steps, 2 pickup trucks crammed with every construction worker in Oklahoma materialized and barrelled down at me. These men heckled me with way too much enthusiasm. There is no metaphor to describe how violently sexual they were. A moment later, in a rather painful finale, a beat up sedan swerved as its prepubescent driver hung his head out the window and squeaked "haw thare hunny." My ears burned for hours afterwards. May I remind you that this was at 11 a.m. and I was wearing absolutely nothing sexy.

Another little detail about Tulsonites: Tulsonites use gym memberships to keep you from leaving (with varied success). While most cities charge a premium for dinky gym memberships, I have been here 3 days and already have 2 complimentary gym memberships. I can workout 48 hours a day. In addition, I also have a complimentary personal trainer at each gym. This is totally bizarre.

Riding to Tulsa

2005-07-11T23:43:00.000-04:00

i am midway through my journey to tulsa. Yesterday i took a stunning drive over the blue ridge parkway and the skyline parkway in Virginia. The dropoffs are so sudden, you get vertigo going around the bends. Today I saw elvis' home - and his motorcycle/car collection, featuring his pink cadillac, his surrey with the fringe on top, many unusual motorcycles, ALL of his golf carts he used to tear through his lawn for fun, his lincoln with suicide doors... etc etc. i also saw his personal jets. wow. i then went into downtown memphis and checked out the blues scene and ate some gooood food. cajun style. i love blues, and this music was so awesome it creeped into me and made me feel so great inside. these people were amazing.

for the most part my camera was dead, but i managed to get some pictures early on in this trip that i will be posting in my album in the next week or so. many of the pictures i have taken are just strange things i have seen.

One Month!

2005-06-19T21:48:00.000-04:00

One month until extern. Tulsa. Oklahoma. Food food food. Nice.

and another article...

2005-05-21T19:31:00.000-04:00

Adventures on a french horse farm

Paris had been my home for two years when Maëlenne and I became friends. She was French, fifteen and the best darn equestrian that I knew. Her legs were solid from years of riding, betraying her astounding musculature, even under baggy blue jeans. Every weekend she traveled an hour and a half north to ride at her father’s farm. For longer than she had been alive, he had been raising prize-winning horses and selling them to competitors all over France. It was on these horses that Maëlenne had learned to ride.
When Maëlenne first told me about the farm, we were huddled next to a street vendor’s cart on the Champs-Elysée, bracing ourselves against the brisk autumn air, and devouring a packet of roasted chestnuts.
“At my father’s farm, chestnut trees line the trails,” she said, “You should see them. The branches are so high, you can only reach them on horseback.”
That weekend, upon discovering that I also rode, Maëlenne invited me to the farm. We left Paris early, our breath crystallizing over the gray morning. The weather changed fast; by the time we arrived, Indian summer glistened through the fiery leaves.
Maëlenne saddled up a monstrous racehorse named Buck and a gentle mare named Lilly. Lilly was for me. Her head barely came up to Buck’s shoulder. Although I had been riding for five years, riding Buck would have been like jumping on a Ducati when all you know are mopeds. And Buck was quite a Ducati.
The unusual heat made the horses frisky; for a while we struggled to keep them at a controlled trot, but eventually we gave them reign to canter. The ground was soft and clods of mud clipped out of the trail behind us. Just as the horses began to break a sweat, we turned a sharp bend in the trail, and a line of chestnut trees came into sight. The trees towered on all sides of us, steely gray giants, dwarfing even Buck. Their gnarly, furrowed branches cast long shadows on the path. Buck snorted courageously while Lilly shied. We slowed to a walk.
“These trees are covered with chestnuts called Marones,” Maëlenne said, “Let’s pick some and roast them later tonight. They are so sweet, you’ll think you are eating candy.”
She explained to me that Marones are fifteen percent sugar, extremely addictive, and the perfect way to refuel after an invigorating trail ride. This sounded great to me. There was only one problem. All I could see were hundreds of very spiky brown spheres the size of a racquetball.
Maëlenne stood up in her stirrups and plucked one of the Marones from a low hanging branch. “The chestnut is inside,” she said, as she placed the nut in her satchel.
I mimicked her, only to find that the spikes were indeed razor sharp. When our satchels were full and the closest Marones were well out of reach, we began the trek home.
“Let’s have some fun.” Maëlenne said mischievously, and urged Buck on. Like lightening, he took off. As I watched them disappear down the trail, I whispered to myself “So that’s how fast a racehorse goes. Holy Batmobile!”
Lilly did not want to be left behind. She shot out from under the trees before I could blink. She went at a frantic pace, vainly attempting to keep up with Buck. Lilly was galloping wildly; there was no slowing her down.
I was enjoying the breakneck pace until the sound of Buck’s hoof beats stopped momentarily. Confused, I looked ahead, trying to discern what had happened. Directly in our path was a massive dead tree trunk. Buck had flown over it as though it were a twig. I am not even sure if Lilly was taller than this tree trunk. She forged ahead blindly. I considered halting her, but doing so mid-gallop would have been incredibly dangerous; there was not enough time.
Suddenly, we were mid air. I gripped Lilly tightly with my legs and prayed that we would clear the trunk. The air hissed past my face and we landed with two quick thuds on the soft ground. The rush was incredible. I laughed and laughed, no longer paying attention to the dangerous speeds the horses were going.
That evening, we unpacked the Marones and roasted them over an open flame. It took twice as long to clean them as it did to eat them. We sat around the fireplace for hours and laughed about our adventure. The sweet Marones sat comfortably in our stomachs, while we tossed their spiky casings into the crackling flames.

another article for the paper:

2005-05-21T19:30:00.000-04:00

On Etiquette, or the art of smoking and eating oranges.

In 1922, at the pivotal age of 49, a glamorous woman named Emily Post wrote a very thick book about etiquette. Almost a century later, my mother walked into a curiosity shop, picked up a dust-covered copy and began to read. As she thumbed through the bible thin pages, she read about how to behave in American society, the proper way to eat, and even how to write and fold letters. Many of the comments were old fashioned, while others rang true to her, even today. The book is a historical treasure trove.
Post’s most remarkable entries are on proper dining etiquette. They are humorous, gilded with wry wit. Her advice on smoking at dinner parties is fascinating. Imagine your mother saying this to you:
“… those who have not acquired the habit of smoking are so very few compared with the so very many who seemingly live from cigarette to cigarette, that we might as well make up our minds that we can thoroughly enjoy the smoke when we please.” (Etiquette,
As they say, “If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.”
Post’s short entries are imbued with her slightly warped sense of humor. Take for example her entry on how to eat oranges:

How do you eat an orange?

Must I eat an orange with a knife and a fork? I like to cut a hole in one end and put a lump of sugar in, and suck the juice; but I didn’t know if this was correct at a restaurant table.

Oh dear! No! Do not suck an orange in a restaurant, or at table anywhere – unless at a picnic. You can peel it and divide sections and eat it in your fingers; or cut it in half and eat it with a spoon, or cut it in any way you like best. My own favorite way is to cut off the rind with a sharp knife, then, holding the fork in the left hand and the knife in my right, cut the peeled orange in half crossways and cut into small pieces and eat with a fork. (Etiquette, page 761)

Until I had read this entry, the eating of an orange had appeared so simple. I peel it with my fingers and eat it with my hands. Sometimes I even use a napkin. Post, characteristically unpredictable, made me doubt my method and myself. Who knew that sucking an orange was permissible at a picnic? Was my method too boring? Should I be sucking oranges?
With my interest piqued, I began to ask around. How do you eat an orange? The answers astounded me. One friend had never, ever peeled an orange with her hands. In fact, she did not know how and proceeded to ask me for a demonstration. She was astounded that I was willing to get my hands sticky with orange juice. I was astounded that she needed a demonstration for peeling an orange. Her method is to quarter them with a sharp knife. “Hey, that works too,” I told her. Another friend attacks oranges the same way I do but then reserves the peels, dries them and makes mobiles out of them. Now, that is weird.
I never expected that an old book on etiquette could be so entertaining. Etiquette will have a permanent place on my bookshelf, right next to my cookbooks. I won’t read it before a party and I won’t read it before going on a date. I will read it when I want to laugh. If you decide to take a peek within Etiquette, just beware that there are multiple editions, the most recent of which was published in 1995 by Elizabeth post. This review is based on the 1937 edition.

Hello blog

2005-05-16T21:04:00.000-04:00

Its been many a week since my last post. I have flown through Cuisines of America and am currently deeply engrossed in Cuisines of Asia. We made sushi today, one of my favorite foods. Two weeks ago, I entered a culinary competition and won second place, winning an 800 dollar prize. This week, I selected my externship site: Bama in Tulsa, Oklahoma. I have been the editor-in-chief of the school paper. So much has happened, it is really difficult to remember all of the important things.

Week by week, I am becoming a remarkably better cook - more specifically a better technician. This is very exciting to me.

At times, it is challenging to be at this place, but in the end I love it and have trouble imagining myself doing anything else. My only regret is that it has put my adult life on hold. However, I justify this by the fact that it will certainly make my adult life all the richer. And by richer I dont mean monetarily speaking, but rather butter-tarily speaking.

mmm butter.

Skills III

2005-04-16T10:57:00.000-04:00

For the last three weeks, I have been in the twilight zone called skills III. You work and work and work, diligently preparing 12 portions of delicious food only to sell one or two orders. On Poached Salmon day we did not sell a single order.

Service crawled by slower than molasses going uphill on a winter day.

6 Hours with no payoff and full compost bins left me dissapointed. Not to say that we didn't learn anything. Chef Bruno was eager to disseminate information, but, due to the course structure, it was an odd mixture of stuff that we knew from Skills I and II, without really going into more depth.

Things I focused on in this class: learning to control my pan when sauteeing, having more precise cuts and getting organized.

It was extremely important that I accomplish these things, and I think that we divided up the work in such a way that I got to develop each of these skills.

Cooking is a lot like basketball. When you try something new, you and your mistakes cannot be hidden. Shooting an airball, burning your hand - really, what is the difference? Either way you screwed up and you have to move on. I think that an important aspect to cooking is the willingness to try something new, despite the fact that you might screw up. It is not always easy since we are constantly being evaluated, but it certainly pays off when you find yourself "mastering" whatever it is you are trying.

Where to dine?

2005-03-27T17:06:00.000-05:00

This weekend my mother came to visit me. It was a wonderful visit, however the question of what we were going to eat, how we were going to eat it and why came up about every hour on the hour. We weren't sure why, but we remained famished no matter what we did.

On Thursday we ate at the Culinary - family meal from Skills III. I wanted her to get a taste of the foods that I would be preparing over the next three weeks. We had roast chicken and shallow poached salmon. We also tried about 5 desserts. We were full to the point of pain, but by the time we got home we were hungry again. We had just spent an hour pouring over Cirio's biography; images of wild garlic and artichoke got our stomachs dreaming of feasts to come.

On Friday we did not do all that much, but we did manage to eat homemade blueberry and cranberry muffins for breakfast. Friday night I prepared shallow poached bass (not the large sea bass, but a smaller relative) as per the shallow poached trout we did in Skills II. I bought the fish from Adams. It was whole - unscaled and ungutted. As I demonstrated how to fillet the fish, my mother's enthusiasm waned slightly. I am pretty sure what did it was when I pulled the guts from the fish's tummy and they sprayed dramatically in her direction. oh well. She soon forgot her aversion when the dish was served. However, as she dug in she did mumble "Poor little fishy."

On Saturday we were hungry again. This time we had to decide between eating at a fancy place like Mohonk (my suggestion as I wanted to treat her for her birthday) and someplace cozy and quick. Try as I might to drag her to the fancy place, I decided to let it go when she asked if the plates were going to cost more than 11 dollars and if they had linguine. I am not sure what planet she lives on sometimes :) Instead we went to a classmate's pizzeria. It was great, but again we ate too much. We had sicilian pizza, grilled chicken salad, eggplant parm, angel hair pasta, sauteed spinach, cannolis and coffee. whew. We brought 80% of that meal home with us. We finished it a few hours later while watching the very odd movie The Good Girl. In addition to all of this, we spent about 3 hours scrubbing stains out of my whites. We actually managed to get the lipstick that had covered one of my white chef coats out! I was amazed. Granted, I now have a truly frightening collection of cleaning supplies including ammonia, bleach, oxiclean, etc. Most of which my mother insisted would not hurt a fly (!!) and poured directly into my kitchen sink. Might I point out that a few minutes later my kitchen was filled with toxic fumes from the combination of bleach with ammonia. Apparently I should not trust her all that much. As for the dishes that were near the sink at the time?? I am thinking about burning them.

Today we actually ran out of energy with food. We ate store bought apple pie all morning while sewing an evening shirt for my use in some future fancy endeavor. It came out beautifully. I teased her and told her that we would have to go to Mohonk some night so I would have somewhere to wear it. Instead, she went to New Jersey and I finished off the apple pie.

Call for Comfort Food

2005-03-10T20:30:00.000-05:00

So i had a hankering for some deep-in-my-gut comfort food today. Every once in a while (to be precise once a month) the need for comfort food consumes me. Once in a blue moon it is completely absolutely all i think about.

I don't know if you have looked out into the night skies lately, cuz it turns out there is a huge blue moon hanging in the sky. Unfortunately, I had nothing in the house when I came home so I had to resort to scraps. Chef had shared some summer sausage and my roommate had some oreos. 10 minutes later, decked out in my cozy pj's, I had eaten more sausage and cookies than any human should. And I felt, well, exactly like you would after doing such a thing: terrible.

When it came down to it, the food was simply not comforting. I needed something better. I decided that chocolate frozen yogurt from Stoney Field Farm was the thing for me. But the supermarket was out. Damn. So, I risked everything and tried Starbuck's frappuchino popsicles. They were good. But didn't do the job.

So, I call out to all you lovers of food for some great comfort food ideas. Preferably ones with minimal preparation but maximal gorging. I look forward to your ideas and promise to give you feedback.

But my grandmother never made it this way!

2005-03-09T15:37:00.000-05:00

"I don't want to hear about how your grandmother did it. Why? Because she was not a chef," Chef Frei exclaimed with a hard look. "What grandmother did in the kitchen has nothing to do with what we are doing in cooking school. Wasn't her gravy always like glue? Her pasta was too thick, wasn't it? Didn't she stuff the bird and let it defrost in the garage for days on end, making the whole family sick? She was NOT a chef. "

He stood with his head slightly tilted back, waiting as we considered our grandmothers' cooking, remembering holiday upon holiday when her cooking was praised by all. A few people were frowning.

"Aww, poor grandma," he said as his face softened into a sly smile. He looked at the clock. "Go to lunch."

During lunch I expected someone to disdainfully rebuke chef for his remarks, for insulting their grandmother. But noone did. When it came right down to it, we all agreed with him. We had just never thought about our grandmother's cooking too carefully. Most importantly, we had never wanted to think mean things about grandma. It was grandma for goodness sakes!

I realized what I loved about grandma's cooking was not so much the food, but the experience of cooking with her. And that was not what chef was critiquing. In one brief moment he taught me to discern between good experiences and good food.

Paper Chef: Truffles

2005-03-06T00:27:00.000-05:00

On Saturday night I delved into the Paper Chef challenge: to combine eggplant, stale bread, pomegranite, and chocolate in one recipe. I managed this successfully, much to my surprise. After much consideration, I decided on creating my very own truffle recipe, based on the Hard Ganache recipe in The New Professional Chef, 7th Edition.

I wanted a truffle that began "savory" and finished sweet and tart. In order to achieve this, I devised a three layered truffle. On the outer edge was a spice blend that I created from dried hot peppers, cinnamon, dehydrated white eggplant, and fresh ground coffee. The next layer was a thick ganache made from bitter chocolate, cinnamon and cream, bringing us a bit closer to a sweet sensation. Finally, the innermost layer was bitter chocolate, cream, and pomegranite/blueberry reduction (and used a large proportion of the reduction for the most intense flavor).

In order to make the dehydrated white eggplant, I sliced them about 1/16" thick, placed them on a rack over stale bread (to help absorb moisture - a great trick) and into an oven at 350. Using the bread in this way was important for the crispness of the chips because eggplant just gets wilted otherwise. Once the eggplant dried out and became golden in color, I pulled them out and put them in the spice grinder with the other spices.

I also made sweet eggplant chips, which I used as a garnish. All I did for these is slice them 1/16" thick, "bread" them in granulated sugar, and lay them on the same rack. The rack is critical to the success of this - in a roasting pan or on a cookie sheet they will just steam and stick. The result was that the sugar caramelized and the eggplant dried out, making an awesome, golden brown chip with nice "sear" marks.

Finally I made a sauce with pomegranite reduction, cream and butter. It was somewhat thick and sweet, a great compliment to the bitter, mildly spicy truffles.

I was very pleased because I managed to balance a variety of flavors and textures that I had never really thought of combining. I will be making these again!!! Thanks for the challenge :)

Take a look at the pictures here! Enjoy!!

"Its all about repetition"

2005-03-03T19:14:00.000-05:00

That is what Chef Sebald told us in meat class a month ago. At the time, each and every student in the class was looking at him, jaw dropped and eyes wide, while he deftly transformed a 3 pound chicken into portion sizes (2 breasts, 2 legs, 2 wings). His hands moved so fast that I was convinced he did not touch the bird with the knife. To tell you the truth, I believe that the bird cut itself up.

As chef was working, a student muttered the words "Its magic" to their neighbor. Chef heard them and looked up from his work. "I am no magician," he said, and reiterated "Its all about repetition. One day you will do this as well, if you keep working at it."

Inspired by the spirit of his words, I attempted to break down a chicken in my home this week. As I looked at the bird, trying to remember the steps he had walked us through, I came to the conclusion that I had a terrible memory. Knowing what pieces I needed to get from the bird, I began as best I could. Taking the wings off was a cinch. Everything afterwards, however, was completely wrong. Although the pieces were cut, I wasted a lot of meat and risked cutting myself multiple times due to poor - and incredibly dangerous - technique. I laughed at myself and vowed to return to the meat room for a refresher.

Today was the day. I went to the PM class (taught by a different chef) with a classmate and asked if we could participate. The chef enthusiastically invited us in, and we got to work. What I expected was to reinforce what my chef had taught me. After all, aren't these chefs all teaching the same information, the same way, week after week? No, no and no. I could not have been more mistaken.

I was astounded to find that this chef had a completely different approach. It was more simplistic and easier to grasp, however it had the unfortunate side effect of further loosening my grasp on the technique that Chef Sebald had taught me, an equally excellent approach.

Although overwhelming at first, it is valuable to learn a variety of techniques. After all, now that I have done it a few more times and a few differerent ways, I am improving, demonstrating that it is all about repetition. Understanding your craft from multiple perspectives gives you the power to choose the approach that is best suited to the job at hand. Mark my words, I will get both of those techniques down pat. And that day, well that day will be magical.

A party for a great friend

2005-03-01T16:57:00.000-05:00

This weekend was my friend Brad's retirement party. To celebrate the wonderful things he has done in his life so far - and in work, though that was secondary - we cooked up a storm. There is no better way to show love. Though prep work started the day prior, research commenced weeks earlier. I had spoken to my favorite meat chef about preparing something extra special, and we settled on a roasted, stuffed breast of veal. It turned out to be a real beauty and impressed Brad. That was a nice feeling.

At school Chef and I took a bone in breast of veal and deboned and trimmed it. We then made forcemeat out of the trimmings - we ran them through a sausage grinder two times to get a nice fine grind. We also made a pocket in the breast for the stuffing, but didnt stuff it as that was to be done the day of the party. Finally we took the bones and cut them in 3 inch pieces so that I could make a brown veal stock with them.

On Friday I made the stock and on saturday i turned the stock into a brown sauce (otherwise known as sauce espagnol). Saturday I mixed the forcemeat with salt (1oz), sugar, nutmeg, ground white pepper, duxelle and homemade breadcrumbs (using bread from the school's bakery). Dave and I stuffed the Veal with the forcemeat and tied it into a nice, even roast. The roast was about a foot and a half long and four inches in diameter. We cooked it at 500 for half an hour, 450 for half an hour and 375 for about forty five minutes. Towards the end i did raise the temperature just to speed up getting the internal temperature to 150 F.

Pictures of the event can be found here

Seeing Brad's face light up the way it did made me want to do it all over again. As he put it, "So gang, same time, next week?"

An Excess of Socks in Small Towns

2005-02-21T18:17:00.000-05:00

“Of course you’re cold. You’re wearing too many socks.” I looked up from my coffee just in time to observe the young female cashier of The Kent Coffee and Chocolate Company lean dangerously far over the rough wooden counter to examine the patron’s steel-toed work boots. I sized him up myself, finding no explanation for his discomfort. In addition to boots, he was wearing heavy-duty Levi’s and a very practical thermal that peeked out from under a rugged, red plaid shirt. A fur-lined cap was pulled tightly over his ears and his hands were hidden in well-worn leather gloves. Last I checked it was 30 degrees out and, although there was a half-foot of snow piled up, there was little to no wind chill.

“There is no room for heat to build up in your shoes,” explained the cashier. From the opposite side of the bakery, a full eight feet away, a lanky farmer piped up, “It’s going to sleet this afternoon. Ice rain all afternoon. Yep. Its gonna get colder yet.” He looked in my direction, smiling and nodding.

Feeling conspicuous, I looked down at the remains of my oversized “Almond Lemon Poppy Seed Crumble Muffin with Lemon Glaze” and my steaming cup of coffee, a hearty afternoon snack that had cost me a total of 2 dollars. Most places, you couldn’t get a plain muffin for that price, let alone one with such a long name. At 50 cents per word, this muffin could have brought in $4.50 easy. The $1.00 price tag made my purchase criminal.

The room was silent. I took another bite of the muffin. It was dry, but the tart lemon glaze made the crunchy cap heavenly. It occurred to me that the muffin would be perfect dipped in my coffee. No sooner had I begun the process, than the silence was punctured briefly by the words “Having lunch?” When no one responded, I looked up and discovered the farmer still smiling and nodding in my direction. Hastily apologetic, I began to babble. This was just a snack. I was not staying in town long. He hardly moved an inch, except to nod, and his smile never faded. His expression seemed to say, “Yep, yep, just as I expected.”

If you had asked me three hours earlier, I would have told you that I had no intention of visiting Kent, Connecticut (estimated population 3,152), let alone The Kent Coffee and Chocolate Company (population 3). I had stumbled upon both as a result of being dangerously overdue on my emissions testing and, it so happened that Kent was the precise location of the nearest testing facility. It was comforting to find that, in small towns like Kent, old clichés still ring true. I was the only customer that the cashier did not know by name and being an outsider did not prevent the locals from giving me advice (I figure if they gave it, it must be because I needed it).

Before I left, I snuck a look down at my own feet, a little concerned that perhaps the spacing in my shoes was less than adequate, that perhaps I was wearing too many socks. As I walked out the bakery door and stepped onto the silvery sidewalk, I heard cheery but stern voices call out after me: “Keep those feet warm,” from the cashier, and “Watch out for that icing rain,” from the farmer. I glanced back and smiled. That moment, as I was waving goodbye, I felt the first drop of frozen water slide down my face. A chill ran through my toes that had nothing to do with the weather.

Just a note: I am the world's biggest nerd

2005-02-16T21:55:00.000-05:00

I would like to point out that, despite the ardor of the kitchens over the past couple of months I officially have more ink marks on my whites than food stains. No joke. After doing laundry today, I found a beautiful pen mark gracing the back of my jacket. I am not sure how i managed to do that. I also have very little idea of how to get the mark out. The only tip I have as of yet is to put some dishwasher detergent in with my whites. Although that will work for grease, it does not affect pen ink.

Not only am I covered in ink marks, I am writing about how to get them out. Apparently I am not just the world's biggest nerd. I am also the world's biggest dork.

Fishy fish fish.

2005-02-15T21:54:00.000-05:00

Fish class was a whirlwind tour that last 7 days. It was long. It was difficult. And, with little time to look back, we have already forged ahead in "Skills 1." I did not write about fish because there was no time. We learned about high medium and low activity fish; we learned about crustaceans and shellfish; we cut them and ate them. We talked about where they live and how they are differnt in quality, yield and use.

Here are some highlights:

we tasted Vodka and Caviar. We talked about why we drink vodka - while drinking it out of chilled, frosted glasses. Ask me and I will tell you some time.

We ate wild salmon (Pacific King) and farmed salmon (Atlantic). I now can tell you which is better from personal experience: wild. But, if you would like a fatty, bland, limp tasting piece of pink flesh, go ahead and have the farmed. I can also tell you that Steel Head Trout is better than either - in my opinion, humble as ever. Now, of course, I never used to feel strongly about this - in fact I did not really know what the difference was - just that one fish was much more expensive and hyped up. Now I feel strongly both for moral AND gustatory reasons.

mmm fish.

A difficult tasting was sucking crawfish heads. The flavor was great, but the texture was just awful. A tasting I would do a thousand times over was the shrimp and scallop fest. mmm - get white shrimp if you can. Just a note - when I asked at my local supermarket, they just looked at me blankly, so I am not promising you will have luck.

fishy fish fish.

2nd article for paper

2005-02-06T03:49:00.000-05:00

Meat: shaking our fears

No matter how hungry the average six year old is, if you place a perfectly cooked Chateaubriand in front of them, they will run away screaming. Likewise, if the same child gobbles up a perfectly normal hamburger, but is told that it was made from ground baby veal brains, they might lose their lunch – and you might be the unfortunate beneficiary. The same rules apply with adults. American consumption of red meat dropped two percent in 2004 (http://www.usda.org), and offal consumption is increasingly considered, well, awful. The resulting waste is practically a crime.

Understanding the value of full carcass utilization requires an appreciation for the animal, an appreciation that is most easily instilled early in life. Research shows that consumer preferences are determined in large part by nostalgia for early experiences (Psychology and Marketing. Vol 20:4). It might take significant convincing to get our baby gourmands to eat up, but persistent encouragement will lead to more understanding and respect for the creatures that sustain us. Chef Sebald, instructor for Meat I.D and Fabrication, adds that it is important to bring our children to farms, giving them first hand exposure to the cycle of life that they cannot experience within supermarkets.

In recent years these values have been buried, so it is no wonder that our generation is bewildered when it comes to buying, preparing and even eating meat products. As dining out has become commonplace, our comfort levels with meat have plummeted. Where cookbooks once filled chapters with fabrication and cooking methodology from primal to offal, modern cookbooks only make brief mention of cooking times and weights for basic roasts and steaks. Even self-proclaimed meat cookbooks gloss over the fundamentals of meat, replacing them with slick photos. We could not be any more removed from the process; our generation has become afraid of meat.

Unfortunately, this fear of meat is heightened by the violence inherent in its acquisition. Many people find themselves performing mental gymnastics to avoid being disgusted by the food they have to prepare. For some, eating processed food that looks nothing like the source animal is the only manageable solution. Those who do attempt to prepare meat in their home do not find it easy. They would sooner pay double and buy tasteless chicken tenders than deal with rinsing out the cavity of a chicken.

Chef Sebald has noted that slaughter and butchery conjure up extraordinarily complex feelings, even after many years in the industry. In order to rationalize them, he considers them within the context of the greater community. Doctors provide care and healing, while butchers provide a healthy food source; both do the best they can, for all they can. The pride with which he speaks of his trade is simply inspiring.

In the future, restaurants may prove to be critical in getting our generation to dig in. Utilizing creative, appealing names for unusual dishes is a must. When writing a menu, one word has the power to overwhelm the customer with anticipation or trepidation. It is our words that will determine the success of meat products on a menu. Failing to entice the customer with all parts of the animal is failing the animal. Establishments with clear menus and knowledgeable staff will keep the anxiety surrounding meat at bay.

Finding the wholesome food that feeds us disgusting is a red flag that ought not be ignored. Meat represents the cycle of life; it is natural and it is important that we become better acquainted with it and the places it comes from. Only then will we be able to respect and appreciate it and all of its cuts.

Meat I.D. and Fabrication

2005-01-30T20:57:00.000-05:00

This class is absolutely incredible. From 6:30 am until 2:30 pm I am totally transfixed. The chef, a German gentleman with a wonderfully thick accent, opens each day by saying "Good Morning." He then takes a few moments to listen to us tell him why it is a "good morning." This is indicative of his personality. Not for one moment are you allowed to take something for granted or to let something be obvious. He lets you sound it out for yourself.

Here is another example. He told us a story about how fate changes very quickly. Afterwards the following discussion occurred (note - he says "let it be" instead of "let's say"):

chef: "Let it be you have a dream - vat should you do if you have a dream?"
class: "..."
chef: "Vat should you do?"
student: "follow it?"
chef: "thats right. follow it. How far should you follow it?"
student: "until you can not any more?"
chef: "you follow your dreams all the way through! All the way through! Life is too short."

It is these heartwarming motivational statements that have me leaving the class totally uplifted. Anyone else would have just said "follow your dreams all the way" and left it at that. I love the interaction.

Not to mention that I am feeling very powerful with my intricate knowledge of meat. I now know way too much about meat - but of course there is so much more to know. It is immensely satisfying knowing what meats to buy and how to deal with them.

This weekend I had a fifteen minute conversation with a butcher about meat. I actually held my own !! By the end the butcher gave me his card and told me to call. He said that they would give me great deals. Needless to say, this made me feel great. Of course, i have a heck of a lot to study, so i better get on it!

Assignment: Kobe Beef and Kurobuta Pork

2005-01-30T20:55:00.000-05:00

Source: http://www.snakeriverfarms.com
(my info is not much different than their info - just a rough info gathering assignment)

Kobe Beef

Kobe Beef is showcased in many fine-dining establishments across America. Order it as a main course and you will be spending around 50 dollars. Although Kobe beef is extremely popular, some diners find its rich, intense flavor to be overwhelming.
It took centuries of selective breeding for Kobe beef to attain the flavor profile it boasts today. It all began in the second century, when the Japanese crossbred herds of Wagyu cattle and dairy cattle to create Kobe beef. Over time they succeeded in concentrating the beef’s flavor and maximizing its tenderness. Today, Americans crossbreed Kobe beef with American Black Angus to create American style Kobe beef.
The way that the cattle are raised determines the quality of the beef. Of equal importance is time and food. The beef take up to 4 times longer to mature because they are not rushed through production and because they are never given growth hormones. The animals are given an all-natural diet that includes barley, golden wheat straw, alfalfa hay, and Idaho potatoes. In Japan the animals are massaged and beer fed, however this practice is not utilized by Snake River Farms.
Of all breeds of cattle, Kobe beef has the highest percentage of unsaturated fat. This unique characteristic means that the quality of marbling in the meat exceeds the “prime” grading in America. For this reason, American Kobe beef is graded by a combination of American and Japanese quality standards.

Kurobuta Pork (Japanese Black Hog)

Oliver Cromwell’s army discovered Kurobuta Pork 300 years ago in Reading, England. Since that time it has acquired world renown both in Japan and in America due to its fine marbling and juicy flavor. The breed is so naturally delicious that there is no need for extenders or sodium during fabrication. As a result, cooked American Kurobuta pork has 50% less weight loss than other varieties of pork.
Current interest in Kurobuta Pork reflects the consumer’s desire for high quality, flavorful meats. Mainstream pork breeding has created such lean animals that consumers are no longer satisfied. They find themselves in a conflict between the desire for health and the desire for flavor. When consumers taste Kurobuta Pork, flavor wins.

***
Utilizing Kurobuta Pork or Kobe Beef in a fine dining establishment is a mark of prestige. However, the high cost of serving such a luxury item is an important consideration; the cost of the meat may decrease one’s profit margin considerably.
Some may feel that using a naturally and humanely raised animal is more important than profit margins. This is a personal choice that diners and chefs must come to terms with.

Block C

2005-01-21T21:07:00.000-05:00

Its Friday and exams are over for Block B. I have completed the following 4 courses: Product Knowledge, Culinary Math, Gastronomy, and Food Safety. I most enjoyed Product Knowledge -a class where I learned to identify and taste many, many fruits, vegetables and dairy products. My all time favorite product was a tuber called Sunchoke - its truly awesome flavor melds the buttery texture of potatoes with the unique flavor of artichoke. Its at its best steamed or boiled, so that you can taste its full flavor.

Another contender for favorite product is the Meyer lemon which is a sweeter lemon, used for baking. Its peel is a deeper yellow, leaning towards orange. Eating a slice of a ripe meyer lemon is an enjoyable game for the palate - sweetness dancing with a sour kick. (Compare this to eating a slice of ripe lemon which remains impossibly puckery and tart).

Other great experiences included eating Jicama, Persimmon, Chayote, drinking shots of buttermilk, and aged monterey jack cheese.

mmm ....

But. Now onto Block C.

Next week I learn Meat Fabrication (butchering meat) - beef, sheep, pork & chickens. Deboning a chicken fascinates me and I can't wait to get a chance to try it out. I also am amazed that I will know many cuts in only 7 class days! Its going to be an intense ride. I found out that my chef for fabrication is world renowned for his skills - supposedly the best. He wears a hard hat in the kitchen instead of a toque, the traditional chef's hat. After Meat Fabrication, we will be doing 7 days of fish fabrication - filleting and shucking etc.

I also am going to begin taking "Food in the News" next week for 6 weeks. It should be a fantastic opportunity to really think about the role the media plays on what i decide to eat. For example, Do I like Cheetos because of the ad campaigns? Would I like them less if they weren't advertised extensively? Would I like them more if the New York Times Food Critics wrote a positive review of them?

This weekend will be used to enjoy 12 inches of snow, study some cuts of meat and get my room cleaned up. Perhaps I will take a walk and visit my favorite minaiture pony that lives a mile or two down the road.

Moral Quandries

2005-01-18T20:46:00.000-05:00

Today my high moral standards were shattered when I recieved a much lower grade on a group project than one of my partners who cheated. Lets talk about the difference in our grades - they were letter grades apart.

And lord knows when she wasn't cheating, she was letting me do her work for her. Honestly, the whole group was flabbergasted. They all admit that I pretty much did most of the work for our group. Yes. That is right. I am extremely bitter.

Which brings me to an important question: Why am I at the Culinary Institute of America?

Pros:

It claims to be the best culinary school in the world (a statement that kind of irks me).
It provides countless connections - every day I meet interesting people (though this number is decreasing daily).
There are many things I still need to learn in order to feel like I have a good knowledge of food (still very true).
Many people at the CIA love food and are passionate about it.

Which brings me to my cons:

There is a really large number of people here who could care less about anything, let alone food.
The people who could care less give me headaches on a regular basis. Strike headaches. They give me migranes - oops-I-shot-a-3-inch-nail-into-my-brain-6-days-ago migranes.
And these migranes are costing me a lot of money.

Sorry folks. Its been a bad day.

On the up side, I just got a job at the FBI today - the food and beverage institute. Today that little cute CIA FBI thing is just not that funny.

In this job I will be doing what my ex-coworker's student workers did - more or less. I will be helping research information and gather media for the cookbooks they are writing - this includes 2 primary media - photos and recipes. In a few months, I will be helping them on photo shoots and food styling. hopefully. or i will just be sorting through thousands of photos for 20 hours a week. for 6.50/hr.

after I was hired a woman exclaimed that I was her "new best friend" ... my instant reaction was "uh oh," ... we all know what that means - I am going to be doing this woman's job for her.

sigh. With some luck, my next entry will be full of joy and butterflies. Thank you cher blog for providing a space for me to vent.

My 1st article for the paper:

2005-01-11T19:56:00.000-05:00

The Terrible Too’s

You know the drill. It’s late Sunday night and, let’s face it, there is no way you are going to fall asleep anytime this century. Over the weekend you played the insomniac, and now you are paying for it.

While you lie there, tossing and turning, you become uncharacteristically philosophic. You come up with rambling lists of things you should be accomplishing, how you wish you looked and ways to solve the world’s problems. Of course, the following week finds you doing the exact same thing, and at no point do you ever act on any of your brilliant plans.

Around New Year, your plans increase in number and magnitude, mounting a veritable frenzy inside your head. During this magical time, your fitness resolutions rein supreme. But, as the year rolls in, the Terrible Too’s foil your plans: you are too busy, too tired and too shy, to kick start your fitness goals. You give up, thinking it’s too late for you.

It is never too late.

There are countless resources to help you achieve your most ambitious goals.

1. Understand your real needs.

The thoughts that roll around your brain at night have one thing in common: they all demonstrate your innate desire to have a happy and healthy life. You deserve it, so why not go for it? Get fulfilled.

Personal fulfillment is a total mind and body experience. This means no more overextending yourself on the weekend. Get a full night’s worth of sleep and you will have more energy all day long. There are people who only need 5 hours a night, while others need 10. Listen to your body. This is especially important in the cold months, when we are susceptible to the Winter Blues.

2. Get your goals in order.

Making priorities is the key to realizing your dreams. Keeping checklists of small, measurable goals makes it easy to succeed. Saying that you want to eat better, although a noble goal, is simply not measurable. Write down measurable goals such as “I will aim to eat complex carbohydrates whenever possible,” and make notes when you succeeded in choosing wheat bread over white.

It took me a month to open a bank account in Hyde Park. The week I did it, it is because I put it on a checklist. No joke.

3. Reach out.

If shyness is preventing you from forging ahead, make sure that you surround yourself with friends that understand and respect your goals. If the path to fitness seems daunting, call Mike Maloney (x1400) at the fitness center. A certified personal trainer, he offers individual and group Personal Training Sessions during which he will formulate a diet and exercise plan that will work for you. If you would rather work with a female, no worries: it can be arranged. Best of all, the trainers will follow up with you a couple of times, making modifications and answering questions as needed.

4. Be a Team Player

When it is too hard to self-motivate, join a team. On campus, the teams include paint ball, volleyball, basketball, ice hockey and dodge ball. Even the aerobic classes (spinning, yoga, self defense and dance) and the school clubs (CSA, Gourmet Society, Student Counsel) feel like teams. You will meet people that will inspire you and, believe it or not, you will inspire them. The competition is friendly: beginners and superstars alike are welcome.

5. Be Bold

Personally, I love seeing new faces, but I admit it, it is daunting to be new. Remember the first time you traversed Farqueson Hall to eat on stage? Let’s not even go there. Talk about conquering fears.

This week I conducted an experiment. Usually, I work out by myself. For a change I decided to go to a Spinning class, stepping out of my comfort zone. Lo and behold, by the time I had changed, I was a few minutes late. Too late, I told myself. It was all I could do to drag myself into the room: I was like a five year old at bath time. As soon as I walked into the doors, everyone looked over at me. Too shy, I told myself. And, oh, the drama. The only remaining bikes were partially broken. Too hopeless, I told myself. I wanted to bolt like lettuce in a rainy spell. And, then, the strangest thing happened. People walked over to where I was standing and helped me get set up. The instructor even took the time to review the basics for me. In the end, natural human kindness showed me just how silly the Terrible Too’s are.

6. Mix it up

Spending all your time in the weight room or in the library is not going to make you happy: balance your activities on and off campus. One weekend, go to the theater and for a hike. Another weekend, play pool in the Rec room and drive an hour north for some amazing skiing at Hunter and Windham Mountains (while tickets last, the school will sell them at half price). Some other time, go to the grocery store and buy 2 things you have never tried and cook them with friends.

Write down a list of everything you want to try while you are at the CIA. Look at it when you begin to lose focus of your dreams. It will help you push forward.

Don’t even get me started on I would-a, should-a, could-a!

The Ritz

2004-12-16T16:09:00.000-05:00

Today we had a substitute teacher in gastronomy. He usually teaches PM classes, so he knows the material just as well as our teacher. To tell you the truth, he is a better teacher than our teacher. Think of a stand up comedian combined with a genious. Scary combination.

We did tastings to learn about sweet, sour, salty, bitter and umami. He had us hold our noses while we ate foods. It was amazing how one dimensional foods became when we weren't using our sense of smell.

Try this: hold your nose and chew on a jelly bean. Once you have a moment to think about what you are tasting, let go of you nose and keep chewing it. Within about a second a new flood of flavor should fill your mouth. While your nose is plugged up, you should only be able to taste sweetness. Once you can smell, the actual flavor of the jellybean will come through strongly.

We also did blindfolded smell-ings (of essences - the same little vials that they use to get you to understand smells for wine tastings). Without the taste or visual of the food, we were unable to identify what we were smelling. banana was thought to be bubble gum, medicine etc etc. honey was thought to be "some kind of fruit," brown sugar and maple syrup.

really interesting.....

one final point - our teacher is a mystery shopper for the Ritz Carlton. He goes to a branch, critiques them on their service and tells them how they can do better.

The Ritz had him go down to one of their branches in the Carribean. The place had achieved 5 stars in about 5 months. This is practically unheard of. He went down there as a difficult customer but, even still, absolutely everything was perfect. He was amazed. He asked them how they do it. For starters, the bellhop gets interviewed 13 times before he/she is hired. Their staff is not allowed to say "No Problem" because it implies that there could be a problem. And they keep track of your personal information - lets say you only like the green m&m's : they will pick out all the green m&m's for you and put them in your room. Also, you are adressed by name. Does he make big bucks or what ?????

What are the odds?

2004-12-14T14:53:00.000-05:00

Some days luck is on your side. Some days.

Even if you have experienced luck, you probably have not won any contests or prizes. For the past 25 years I, too, have gone prizeless. Never won a trip to cancun. Never won money on the radio. No prizes for Sasha. Until I got to the CIA.

In the last 6 school days I managed to win myself 3 prizes. In fact I am 3 for 3. Here are the contests and the prizes:

1. Day one of Orientation: The President of the CIA asked my class what the Five Core Values of the CIA were. I said "Excellence" and won a CIA cookbook. The other values are Leadership, Professionalism, Respect of Diversity and Ethics.

2. Christmas Party last week: Free raffle. I won two CIA travel mugs. I opted to give one away to another, less lucky student.

3. Knife Sharpening Demo last night: I correctly answered the following question to win a Japanese knife:

What grade sharpening stone can both western style and japanese style knives be sharpened with? (answer: 6000)

The knife is called a Petty Knife and is used for paring, small cuts, chopping herbs and other fine work. The blade is about 4 inches long. It is worth about 50 dollars. Its definitely my nicest knife at this point.

O.K. so these prizes won't get me to Cancun, but they do make me feel very happy. I chalk it up to good karma.

for goodness sakes!

2004-12-13T14:34:00.000-05:00

Last week I decided to switch from PM classes to AM classes. As a result, my dining card needed to be reprogrammed. I found this out at breakfast when I was rudely and loudly rejected by the card reader. Scary Breakfast Chef swivelled his head in my direction, leaving his body behind like one of the women in "Death Becomes Her."

"You need to see Pat," he snarled. Without another word he nodded me through the line.

That very morning I brought it to "Pat the dining card programmer." I left five minutes later happy and confident that my problem was solved.

The next morning terror hit me when the card reader, inexplicably, rejected me yet again. I furtively glanced around for Scary Breakfast Chef. He was nowhere to be found. I slunk back in relief.

And, then, out of nowhere, I felt him behind me. (are you really surprised?)

"You trying to pull one over one me?"

"no no no no no!" I said. "I dont know what is wrong, I ....." But his glare silenced me.

Today I skipped hot breakfast, opting for cereal and coffee instead. As I poured myself some milk, thinking of the delicious meal I was missing, his eyes bore into me from across the hallway.

For goodness sakes! I was so nervous I almost dropped my coffee. I have got to get this card fixed. I cannot take this kind of drama in the morning.

On a happier note - there is a knife sharpening demonstration tonight run by an expert from Japan. No correlation though. I swear.

More than a great day

2004-12-09T18:27:00.000-05:00

Today was great. It began with breakfast at 6:30 am (Poached eggs over a roasted portabella mushroom cap and a strawberry banana smoothie) and Intro to Gastronomy at 7 am.

Instantly, I knew I would like my teacher. As I entered the classroom, the walls reverberated with the lively sounds of swing music. Once class began, we played a guessing game with an odd shaped cooking implement. What could it be? The resulting answers ranged from an old wok to a hungarian dinner chime. Turns out it was a flat bread pan from israel. The teacher showed us how our experiences bias our best guesses.

After gastronomy, we had Food Safety. I was sure I would hate this class. Who needs someone telling them that food spoils at room temperature? I know that! Well, the personality and enthusiasm of the teacher was infectious (excuse the pun) and before I knew it I was totally sucked into the discussion about how Food Born Illness can ruin a restaurant. We learned about a resort on Cape Cod that had given 170 of its customers semonella from the bernaise sauce (at a wedding banquet no less). Over three years later it came back to haunt them when a family sued for 3.5 million dollars because of permanent losses.

After class I had lunch. Because I was running late and it is banquet style seating, there was no room for me (the tables have to stay the same numbers for the formal service to work). This meant that I got to sit with their chef. It was great to talk with him and watch him teach his class. Plus, a true gentleman, he made sure that they served me extremely well, choosing my appetizer for me - the penne bolognese. At first I was dissapointed in his choice, thinking "how great could it be?." But it was absolutely fantastic - spicy and robust. Probably the best bolognese I have ever had. I then had roulade of pork stuffed with mushroom something or other, avocado breaded in cornmeal and deepfried (amazing) and molten chocolate cake with strawberry coulis and fresh whipped cream (how bad could that be?)

Then, I proceeded to run my errands. I dropped by financial aid and found out that I was awarded $500 dollars per semester for 4 semesters. I had won the M.F.K. Fisher writer's scholarship. Fantastic! Really, really fantastic! I almost hugged the lady who told me.

I then went to the Dean of Student Activities and told him about my hopes of starting an outreach program for foster kids in the area. He was completely supportive and is currently researching how we would go about getting the kids involved. The Dean is also the leader for the student newspaper. He invited me to write and told me that I could potentially be the editor within a semester. He also pointed out that I could write an article about my outreach idea in order to get people interested.

Right now I am hanging out at the bar/cafe at the gym (!!) and eating free holiday food (wraps, wings, egg nogg, cider, and make your own candy apples) and waiting to see if I win a door prize (including knives, cookbooks, mugs etc). A group of guys just left and gave me their 4 tickets so my chances are pretty high (5/45 or 1/9). We shall see...

And, finally, to top it all, there is an all you can eat eggroll contest at 9pm. Why? I have no idea. I guess because they can.

That, I think, I will skip.

Surviving the First Days at the CIA

2004-12-08T13:26:00.000-05:00

The Culinary Institute of America has been my life for the past three days. Again and again I have been told that I am now a part of the CIA family, however the full meaning and impact of this statement has yet to wash over me. My thoughts have been directed towards practical and administrative issues - getting books, filling out medical forms, listening to the deans tell me the rules.

And the food. Its not that there is a lot of food - 3 courses for lunch barely equal one large meal - its the richness of the food. It gets you right in the gut. It is not cloying or greasy, but light and airy. Its the kind that tastes so good you tell yourself that it has GOT to be good for you. But its not.

And when you finish breakfast, lunch and dinner (one of which you have to - gasp - make on your own) - there are food tastings at night. Last night I was up until 11 pm tasting latino influenced New England sustainable cooking techniques. I ate truffles coated in roasted ancho chile powder, braised meat stew, striped bass steamed with lemon grass and cilantro served with a truffle oil, raw mushroom salad. The night before I was up tasting Virgin Olive Oil! An Italian olive farmer came from Tuscania for 2 days to show us the art of sipping and swishing oil - much like wine - in order to enjoy the cleanest tastes.

Its a wild and amazing journey that I have begun. The worst part of it all is knowing that I wont be able to tell you everything.

PS. Anyone have a girdle ?

SHF #2 Apples

2004-11-10T14:10:00.000-05:00

This challenge comes at an opportune time: I am about to enter an Apple Pie Scholarship Contest at the CIA. I have put together an original recipe that I am pretty excited about. If you are interested, you can read my essay for the scholarship called "The Romance Begins". I have included a photo of the pie, however, I would like to make the pie again in order to get a higher quality photo for the contest.

SASHA’S ROMANTIC APPLE PIE WITH WALNUT OATMEAL CRUMBLE
Serves 8

Pie Dough:

2 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
1/4 cup whole wheat flour
15 tablespoons unsalted butter, chilled, cut into 15 pieces
5 tablespoons vegetable shortening, chilled
4 tablespoons ice water
1 egg
1 teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons sugar

Egg wash:

1 egg
1 tablespoon water

Walnut Crumble:

1/2 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup instant oatmeal
1 cup walnuts

Apple Filling:

1 lb (about 2 medium) Golden Delicious apples
1 lb (about 2 medium) Granny Smith apples
2 lb (about 4 medium) Macoon apples
1 tablespoon lemon juice
1 teaspoon lemon zest from
one medium lemon
1 teaspoon salt
1/3 cup white sugar
1/3 cup brown sugar
1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/8 teaspoon ground ginger
1/8 teaspoon ground allspice

I. FOR THE PIE DOUGH:

Food Processor Method:

1. Add all-purpose flour, whole-wheat flour, butter and shortening to the bowl of a food processor. Pulse ingredients until the fat has been reduced to the size of small peas, about 10, 1-second pulses.

2. Turn mixture into a medium bowl.

3. Continue with step 2 in the manual method.

Manual Method:

1. In a medium bowl, lightly toss all-purpose flour and whole-wheat flour with the butter and shortening until ingredients are evenly dispersed. With a pastry blender, cut ingredients together until fats have been reduced to the size of small peas.

2. In a small bowl, whisk together water, egg, salt and sugar.

3. Sprinkle half of the water mixture over flour mixture. With a fork, blend ingredients together. Continue adding the water mixture until the dough holds together when pressed.

4. Divide dough into two balls and flatten into 1” thick disks.

5. Refrigerate disks for at least 30 minutes.

II. FOR THE WALNUT CRUMBLE:

Food Processor Method:

1. Add sugar, oatmeal and walnuts to the bowl of food processor.

2. Pulse ingredients until blended and the walnuts are broken into pea-sized pieces, about 5, 1-second pulses.

Manual Method:

1. Place sugar, oatmeal and walnuts in a zip lock bag. Shake until combined.

2. With a rolling pin, roll over sealed bag, crushing walnuts until they are pea-sized.

III. FOR THE APPLE FILLING:

1. Peel, core and slice apples into 1/4 inch slices, using a mandolin if possible.

2. Place apple slices in a large bowl and toss with lemon juice, zest, salt, white sugar, brown sugar, nutmeg, cinnamon, ginger and allspice.

IV. ASSEMBLING THE PIE:

1. Preheat oven to 400ºF

2. Remove one disk of dough from the refrigerator and roll out into a 12inch circle.

3. Press circle of dough into a 9inch pie dish.

4. Pour walnut crumble into the pie dish. Spread crumble out evenly, pressing up and into the sides of the pie dish.

5. Add apple filling, without the juices, to the pie dish. Refrigerate.

6. Remove the second disk of dough from the refrigerator and roll out into a 12inch circle.

7. Remove pie dish from refrigerator. Place the second circle of dough over the filling in the pie dish. Press edges together, rolling to seal and fluting if desired. Cut 3 air holes in the top of the piecrust.

8. Whisk egg with water and brush over the top of the pie.

9. Bake pie for 40 minutes or until golden brown.

10. Reduce heat to 325ºF and cover pie with foil. Bake an additional 25 to 30 minutes.

11. Serve at room temperature, cooling for at least 2 hours.

Less than a month!

2004-11-09T14:32:00.000-05:00

Its official - less than one month until my first day of school at the Culinary Institute of America. And less than 4 days until my last day of work. good grief.

In order to deal with the stress of change, I plan on experimenting with a "Banana Bread" Layer Cake with Pumpkin/Creamcheese frosting. Imagine the cake to be the texture of carrot cake. yum.

My interest in this experiment is to elevate the humble (yet delicious) banana bread to dinner party status. I imagine the sides of the cake to be decorated with crushed walnuts.

If all turns out well, I will post the photos of this adventure. A La Cuisine is making me think about ways in which to "deconstruct" this recipe - it could be quite colorful - but first i have to master the basics of it. Then I might play. :)

Butter Making

2004-11-04T13:36:00.000-05:00

Mmm butter. Love it. Love it on popcorn with extra salt. Love it on English muffins with blueberry jam. mmm.

A discussion on The Food Whore about butter prompts me to write about the joys of butter making.

I always imagined butter making to be difficult. I worried that i would need to buy special equipment like, say, a wooden churn. and perhaps even a cow. Until the day my Sweetie's mother told me that she made butter with her kindergarden class.

"Wow!" I thought to myself, a bit embarrased. "Five year olds can do this... perhaps I should try too."

I asked her how they did it.

"I give them a small, 6 ounce glass container that has cream and a marble in it"

"yes...." I said, waiting for the catch.

"Then they pass it around the class shaking it"

"..." Still skeptical of how much patience a kindergarden class could possibly have for making butter, I waited, again, for the catch.

"Less than five minutes later they have butter!"

I must have looked totally astonished.

She brought out the "equipment" and we did it together.

It was so very easy and fun. Although, I will say that my Sweetie did walk into the kitchen while we were madly shaking the container. He just raised his eyebrow and left.

But, I enjoyed it. And its a great project to do with small kids.

Next time I would like to shake that cream up with some herbs... garlic ... or say, even some salt!!

Trick or Treat

2004-11-01T08:00:00.000-05:00

Somehow this always happens to me..

All fall, I picture cute kiddies in costume coming up to my door asking for candy. I picture myself a hero - handing out huge handfuls of candy to the overjoyed little kiddies.... but every single year the stupid holiday sneaks up on me.

The day before Halloween I ask my Sweetie to go pick up some candy. He objects claiming that we wont get any kiddies.

"please?"

"but... if we dont get any kiddies, then we'll have to eat it... and that's unhealthy"

"please?"

"fine"

I make a mental note to go with him to make sure he picks out good candy. But then, inevitably, it happens. The day goes by and we have other things to do. We are late for our friend's birthday dinner and forget all about getting little kiddies candy.

Poor little kiddies.

I awake on Halloween around 11 am, totally oblivious to the fact that Halloween has arrived. I loll around for a while in my pajamas. Around 3, it dawns on me. Only a few short hours until the kiddies start coming, looking at me wide eyed because I DONT have any candy. I picture, with horror, having to darken my house lights in order to scare them away.

In a panick, I search through my cupboards for scraps of candy.

Oh, happy day! In the freezer I find a buried box of Mr. Heathbars. Big ones. There were 9 total.

By 7:30 no kiddies had come. I heard them walking by, but noone stopped. Finally, around 745 a wee little bumble bee and a boy dressed up as a ninja - or some other fighting hero - came wandering up the stairs. They didnt even say trick or treat. they just stared at me. Their dad said "Happy Halloween."

I proudly offered these little kiddies the box of candy bars. When the boy (maybe 4 years old) reached in and felt a huge candy bar he looked amazed. I think I made his night. I am pretty sure the candy bar was bigger than his head. The little girl, however, just kept looking at me. She was about 2 years old. Her dad took the candy bar for her and put it in her baggy.

And that was it for the kiddies. Whew. At least I had something for them!!

Happy Halloween!

Cold, Coffee and Tea

2004-10-25T09:03:00.000-04:00

Its getting down right chilly outside. For three days straight, I have been waking up furrowed under three layers of blanket, quilt and comforter. And each time I have a very pink, cold nose.

To get the chill out, I have been going and spending 2.85 at Dunkin Donuts on my way into work. This 2.85 gets me some steamed milk and bitter expresso. Admittedly, its not very good, but then again, its cheaper than 3.10 at the local coffee shop where the latte actually tastes worse! Thats right. The local coffee shop's Latte is acridly bitter, grainy and is so hot that it burns my tongue. Plus they dont have drive through.

So what is left for me to do? The obvious answer is to pull out my coffee maker, dust it off and make my own damn good coffee.

So now a few days have gone by. And I still havent turned on my coffee maker. Its too hard. After all, my coffee maker doesnt have a drive through either.

screw it. i decided i am switching to tea.

Yes, this explains it all...

2004-10-19T11:00:00.000-04:00

This sunday I had dinner with my Italian relatives in Boston. There is something both particular and peculiar about the way that Italians relate to food. When my Not So Elderly 90 Year Old Aunt suggested I come by for lunch at 11 am, it sounded perfect - an early lunch (done by 1 at the latest); I could hit the road and be back in CT by 5pm. Boy was I wrong!

I got to the house at 11 sharp. The Not So Elderly 90 Year Old Aunt was supervising her daughter and son as they made homemade pasta. In Italian culture there is no such thing as too many cooks in the kitchen. If your not putting your two cents in, you're lazy. The pasta was too wet, too dry, needed kneading; more semolina, more all-purpose flour, more eggs. Eventually the perfect dough was born.

All the while, we laughed and talked and ate our first course - a strange but good bruchetta covered in a homemade blue cheese-hazlenut spread, drizzled with honey.

Then we had our second course. Antipasto. Mmmm, how I love fatty meat like Mortadella. I looked at my watch and was dumbfounded. It was already 1:15. So much for getting home by five. I grabbed a piece of roasted red pepper, popped it in my mouth, and pulled out my knitting while we talked.

Around 1:30 our third course was delivered to our plates: piping hot homemade pasta and sauce. The Not So Elderly 90 Year Old Aunt claimed it was raw. Her grandson piped in that it was al dente. She poked it a few times and repeated herself. The debate continued well into the next course. I thought it was excellent.

Around 2:30 our fourth course was delivered to our table. Salad. A gigantic bowl of salad with homemade vinagrette and homemade croutons. During this course, the Not So Elderly 90 Year Old Aunt noticed her granddaughter and fiancee not eating croutons. She asked her granddaughter why she wasnt eating them. The response: the south beach diet. "Oh, your not fat!" she exclaimed in a thick italian accent. "He," she said, refferring to the fiancee, "is fat." Nothing like the brutal honesty of family. This debate also continued for a while.

Around 3:30 our fifth course arrived: Roast pork loin with potatoes, 4 kinds of squash, applesauce, rosemary mushrooms and homemade bread. Phew. I was starting to sweat. This was a lot of food.

During this course, the Not So Elderly 90 Year Old Aunt and her grandson began debating the architectural skills of her son, his uncle, Architect Dick. Dick was not present; he had a very bad cold. As the grandson teased that Dick couldnt get the angles of some project down right, the Not So Elderly 90 Year Old Aunt looked upset

"Oh my poor sick Dicky, you leave him alone"

to which grandson replied: "I will show you what he did!"

and The Not So Elderly 90 Year Old Aunt replied: "Show me? I will show you my Dick."

wow.

We all giggled; we couldnt help ourselves! The Not So Elderly 90 Year Old Aunt looked at me and winked.

I can't wait to be a dirty old lady.

Around 4:30 fruit was put out. Perfectly sweet grapes. delicious.

Around 5:00 the following homemade baked goods were put out: brownies, chocolate chip cookies and sugar cookies. A store bought pie was brought out 10 minutes later. It was the only item that day that was not homemade. The Not So Elderly 90 Year Old Aunt shook her head at this. "Why didnt you tell me to bake a pie?! I would have baked a pie. We need a good pie." Absolutely noone ate the store bought pie. Especially not the Not So Elderly 90 Year Old Aunt. It sat there looking forlorn.

At 5:30 coffee was put out. Delicious. Hot. Strong. Seemed to help make room in my stomach for all the food i had eaten.

By 6:30 when I finally left "lunch" I looked like I was five months pregnant and had finished knitting the front and back pieces of my sweater. I am not so sure, however, that the sweater will actually fit me.

Summary: lunch lasted from 11 to 5:30/6:30. This explains it all.... food is in my blood.

En Route to the CIA

2004-10-13T16:05:00.000-04:00

Getting ready to go to the Culinary Institute of America has been a scary process. Find a place to live. Get approved for a 20,000 dollar loan. Be 100% sure I want to leave my cushy web designer job. (Still working on that last one).

Two out of three of the goals have been crossed off the list. But that last one is making things hard for me. Its creating nagging doubts. Fear. Lots of Fear. Fear of having made the wrong choice. Fear of failing. Fear of not liking the teachers. or the classes. or the students. or the subject matter. Fear of being in debt for the rest of my life.

But wait! I love to cook. Cooking school will help me to achieve my goals. That's what is going to push me forward with this thing. Its simply got to.

Goal 1: Learn to cook well, fast and for a lot of people.
Goal 2: Learn to apply creativity to all culinary adventures that I undertake.
Goal 3: Teach foster kids to cook for pleasure and as a skill builder.
Goal 4: Find funding to open a B&B with cooking classes.
Goal 5: Open said B&B
Goal 6: Live happily ever after.

2004-10-01T13:59:00.000-04:00

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